7 am: Wakes up and tries to fix himself breakfast by trying to shoot slices of bread into the toaster from across the kitchen
8 am Thinks about kobe dunking on nash
9 am: is still trying to successfully get bread into the toaster while a huge pile of bread slices lies on the kitchen floor
10 am: after running out of bread, tries to throw toaster into sink
11 am: Goes to the strip club trying to see if he can score there.
12 pm: Leaves strip club frustrated because he couldn't get the dollar in the strippers underpants.
1 pm: Becomes fascinated by something on the floor on the walk home and forgets to look up and notice that he hasn't gone anywhere for a full hour.
2 pm: Greases and buffs head.
3 pm: Tells posey to hit heinrich in the game as he proceeds to get fouled out so they can leave early together
4 pm Mails Paul Pierce tickets to the next Miami Heat game
5 pm Asks Larry Bird how to shoot 4 pointers
6 pm: Gets to the arena extra early to practice four pointers
7 pm: shoots a three during the tip off
8 pm: Begins work on 6/49 night of shooting
9 pm: Touches himself
10 pm: After an hour of trying to touch himself but missing repeatedly, decides to get high
11 pm Smokes some weed into thinking he beat the bulls.
12 am: After embarrassing the Bulls, him and his thug posse consisting of Posey, Haslem and himeself go to another Chicago strip club in hopes of picking up another victory, this time throwing mouthpieces, rather than dollar bills at the strippers.
1 AM: logs onto Gamefaqs, reads this topic, and cries
2 am: calls Larry Bird again to ask about 4 pointers. Bird, clearly annoyed, once again tries to convince him there is no such thing as 4 pointers.
3 am: doesn't believe larry bird, so drives to the store to buy paint and make his own 4 pointer lines at the american airlines arena.
4 AM: Sneaks into the American Airlines arena and paints his own 4 pointer line.
5 am: Late night visit to granny, scares her so hard her dentures fall out, procedes to put dentures in own mouth.
6 am: Calls the ref about last night's game complaining that the rim was rigged.
7 am: practices shimmy dance in front of mirror
8 am: Listens to Eye of the Tiger to pump himself up for the next game.
9 am: Calls Jason Williams to make sure he gets crisp passes behind the 4 point line.
10 am: gets hung up on after Jason Williams unsuccessfully tries to explain to him there are no 4 pointers for a full hour
11 am: Tries to mimic Larry Birds shooting form from old videos
1 PM: Goes to Posey's house and tries to have *** with him to score
2 pm: gets denied by Posey. Calls Luke Walton, but he's at Kobe's.
Credit to Gamefaqs.com
Not so funny, but it's very funny. 
