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The Average Day of Antoine Walker

Wed May 03, 2006 12:48 am

7 am: Wakes up and tries to fix himself breakfast by trying to shoot slices of bread into the toaster from across the kitchen
8 am Thinks about kobe dunking on nash
9 am: is still trying to successfully get bread into the toaster while a huge pile of bread slices lies on the kitchen floor
10 am: after running out of bread, tries to throw toaster into sink
11 am: Goes to the strip club trying to see if he can score there.
12 pm: Leaves strip club frustrated because he couldn't get the dollar in the strippers underpants.
1 pm: Becomes fascinated by something on the floor on the walk home and forgets to look up and notice that he hasn't gone anywhere for a full hour.
2 pm: Greases and buffs head.
3 pm: Tells posey to hit heinrich in the game as he proceeds to get fouled out so they can leave early together
4 pm Mails Paul Pierce tickets to the next Miami Heat game
5 pm Asks Larry Bird how to shoot 4 pointers
6 pm: Gets to the arena extra early to practice four pointers
7 pm: shoots a three during the tip off
8 pm: Begins work on 6/49 night of shooting
9 pm: Touches himself
10 pm: After an hour of trying to touch himself but missing repeatedly, decides to get high
11 pm Smokes some weed into thinking he beat the bulls.
12 am: After embarrassing the Bulls, him and his thug posse consisting of Posey, Haslem and himeself go to another Chicago strip club in hopes of picking up another victory, this time throwing mouthpieces, rather than dollar bills at the strippers.
1 AM: logs onto Gamefaqs, reads this topic, and cries
2 am: calls Larry Bird again to ask about 4 pointers. Bird, clearly annoyed, once again tries to convince him there is no such thing as 4 pointers.
3 am: doesn't believe larry bird, so drives to the store to buy paint and make his own 4 pointer lines at the american airlines arena.
4 AM: Sneaks into the American Airlines arena and paints his own 4 pointer line.
5 am: Late night visit to granny, scares her so hard her dentures fall out, procedes to put dentures in own mouth.
6 am: Calls the ref about last night's game complaining that the rim was rigged.
7 am: practices shimmy dance in front of mirror
8 am: Listens to Eye of the Tiger to pump himself up for the next game.
9 am: Calls Jason Williams to make sure he gets crisp passes behind the 4 point line.
10 am: gets hung up on after Jason Williams unsuccessfully tries to explain to him there are no 4 pointers for a full hour
11 am: Tries to mimic Larry Birds shooting form from old videos
1 PM: Goes to Posey's house and tries to have *** with him to score
2 pm: gets denied by Posey. Calls Luke Walton, but he's at Kobe's.


Credit to Gamefaqs.com

Wed May 03, 2006 1:04 am

Not that amusing, to be honest. It had potential, but some of those points just aren't funny. On top of better selection of activities, it might've been a bit funnier if there were less events occuring at odd/uneven times (rather than having everything happening every hour on the dot).

Wed May 03, 2006 1:04 am

:lol: Not so funny, but it's very funny. :lol:

Wed May 03, 2006 2:10 am

Cloudy wrote::lol: Not so funny, but it's very funny. :lol:

Sorry for going off-topic, but aren't you a Suns fan? Just curious...


Article was not funny.

Wed May 03, 2006 3:21 am

some funny stuff :D

Wed May 03, 2006 4:32 am

It's wasn't funny. Antoine is a much better player and shooter than some people want to admit.

Re: The Average Day of Antoine Walker

Wed May 03, 2006 5:09 am

11 am: Goes to the strip club trying to see if he can score there.
12 pm: Leaves strip club frustrated because he couldn't get the dollar in the strippers underpants.
11 pm Smokes some weed into thinking he beat the bulls.
5 am: Late night visit to granny, scares her so hard her dentures fall out, procedes to put dentures in own mouth.

What?

This was terrible. Gamefaqs (ugh) and you its_asdf owe me monetary damages for fostering that upon me and society.

I think that deserves a one game suspension.

Wed May 03, 2006 8:40 am

Yeah, come to think of it, it wasn't that funny after I read it while I was actually awake.

Wed May 03, 2006 8:53 am

NOT FUNNY!

Wed May 03, 2006 9:19 am

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Wed May 03, 2006 9:37 am

:lol: Aww, c'mon, it was funny.

:lol: Missed the toaster ...

Wed May 03, 2006 10:53 am

drew gooden said in sports illustrated that antoine and KG are the hardest PF's to guard because they handle the ball so well and can shoot.

Wed May 03, 2006 12:24 pm

9 pm: Touches himself


hahaha

drew gooden said in sports illustrated that antoine and KG are the hardest PF's to guard because they handle the ball so well and can shoot


Drew Gooden doesn't know much about defense....i think it's safe to say that Nowitzki & Duncan are harder to cover than Walker.

Wed May 03, 2006 12:41 pm

the only somewhat funny thing was the 4 point line

Wed May 03, 2006 1:07 pm

It went on a quick and steady decline after he threw the toaster. That 4-pointer bit is oooooolllllllld.

Wed May 03, 2006 1:11 pm

I wanted to laugh...that counts right? :)

Wed May 03, 2006 1:42 pm

What Colin said. After the toaster bit, it sucked.

Wed May 03, 2006 2:55 pm

I thought it was funny. The 4 point line was :lol:

Wed May 03, 2006 3:00 pm

Only the 4 pointer stuff should've been there.

Re: The Average Day of Antoine Walker

Wed May 03, 2006 3:51 pm

5 pm Asks Larry Bird how to shoot 4 pointers

Haha, i liked that.

Wed May 03, 2006 7:36 pm

:lol: it was pretty stupid but still funny

Wed May 03, 2006 9:21 pm

DB wrote:
Cloudy wrote::lol: Not so funny, but it's very funny. :lol:

Sorry for going off-topic, but aren't you a Suns fan? Just curious...


Article was not funny.

Nope never a Suns fan... but Steve Nash was one of my favorite players for a while though... not until Playoffs

Wed May 03, 2006 11:13 pm

Matt wrote:
9 pm: Touches himself


hahaha

drew gooden said in sports illustrated that antoine and KG are the hardest PF's to guard because they handle the ball so well and can shoot


Drew Gooden doesn't know much about defense....i think it's safe to say that Nowitzki & Duncan are harder to cover than Walker.


I'd say nowitzki falls into the category of "ball handling PF's" and maybe Drew Gooden doesnt guard TD that much.... All i'm saying is what Sports Illustrating quoted him. Drew Gooden i'm sure knows more about guarding NBA players than you do, and more about defense than you do because he plays in the league and you just follow it...

Wed May 03, 2006 11:24 pm

This harder to guard thing is kinda difficult. Who is harder to guard?

1- The guy who blows by you and fakes you out all the time but doesnt sink shots consistently.

2- The guy you stay in front of, contest his shot, but still makes it.

Is it harder to 'guard' or harder to keep from scoring?

Wed May 03, 2006 11:26 pm

I'm just saying from drew gooden's perspective, someone who plays in the league, he says ball handling, shooting pf's are hardest to guard and he specifically mentioned Antoine and KG.
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