NLSC dating service

[Stevan]

Imagine if certain NLSC posters put out an add in a dating service? Ever wondered what they would read? Here we go...

Homer (credit to Jae for this one):
"hello !!! I am homer !!! i want many woman !!! PM me !!! please no chinese!!!"

Carlos Boozer/Frank Castle:
"i am heido.i want smoke,drink and fuck many,bitches. no horse face!! "

Mike Bibby:
"sup. yo i'm juz da illest and realest you'll eva meet. Ima be a rappa. u gotz to be HOT, otherwise FALL BACK and get off my dick11!11!"

Jae:
"I'm looking for that special someone. You have to be hot, sweet, and realise that the NLSC is always going to come first. If not, fuck off."

Jackal:
"Hi, I'm Jackal, and I'm from the beautiful Islands. I really am looking for love. Bah, who am I kidding I just wanna give it to you. No, no really I was joking. Love. I mean what is love? Is it just some insignificant word that people throw around, or is it really the pure gravitational pull two people feel towards each other? Bah, there was certainly no love between Shaq and Kobe. They just couldn't co-exist. I just want somebody to co-exist with, somebody to be Kobe to my Shaq. I need somebody to be number 2, to my number 1, like Kobe was to Shaq. I, much like Shaq, am dominant, and when they say I can't find love I want to prove them wrong. Call me. Or don't. Really, it's up to you. Because what's a phone call? It's not much. Then again you might not be able to afford. Bah, I dunno, do what you want."

Matthew/Cambyman:
"Calling all Shazzaz, you stupid cunts. I want gobbie. "

Tales:
"I am Tales LOL. I am looking for a special girl to take along with me on this journey of life, to share my future wealth, have lots of babies and fuck LOL. In my spare time if I am not studying or pooping LOL I am usually freaking the babies LOL "

Yohance:
"I'm big green and mean... hehe... . word to your mommas...hehe call me."

Nick:
"Screw this touchy feely shit! If you wanna get it on pm me If not get stuffed But really I just wanna see some boobies "

--------------------


I can't be bothered doing any more, feel free to add more guys. Remember it's all in fun and it's all fictional, applying certain poster traits

[Bill Russell]

Stevan:

"Hey how you doin'? I'm Stevan. You know, the other day I was thinking about you. You came up from a dark room and appeared all of a sudden in front of me. What did I do? I woke up and run to the bathroom, I had to clean myself up. Har Har Har. "

Jowe:

"G'day mate. Let me introduce myself, my name is Jowe. I want to know you, but I don't know if you would appreciate my strong looks or my patching habits. You're fucked up both ways."

[Stevan]

LOL Tales I think you missed the point

[J@3]

Jowe:

Hi, I'm looking for a girl. Preferably Asian, preferably with a heart-beat. You must be sexy, nice and considerate. If you steal my jersey texture I'll fucking kill you

[Stevan]

Ok some more...

Andrew:
"Hello, I'm Andrew the Webmaster of Nba-live.com. Basically I'm looking to settle down with a nice conventional girl - Bulls fan, understands that Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time while taking into consideration that it is difficult measure players across other eras. Don't get me wrong, I am open to other suggestions but I will not date a girl just for the sake of dating one. I do appreciate any constructive criticism, but I will take action if you overstep the mark. Thank you. "

Slam Harder
"I pass my teori finally! FUCK! I can now pick u up in my car if you have Jennifer Lopez booty. I only do 190km/ph i'm still bit chicken, but we get where we going pretty fast. If not fuck it, i can still jerk off. Its part of my military service. Jennifer Lopez booty very important. Send me pictures!!"

[Andrew]

Andrew:
"Hello, I'm Andrew the Webmaster of Nba-live.com. Basically I'm looking to settle down with a nice conventional girl - Bulls fan, understands that Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time while taking into consideration that it is difficult measure players across other eras. Don't get me wrong, I am open to other suggestions but I will not date a girl just for the sake of dating one. I do appreciate any constructive criticism, but I will take action if you overstep the mark. Thank you."

Sure, we're laughing about it, but should I be so quick to dismiss the idea?

[j.23]

Imagine if certain NLSC posters put out an add in a dating service? Ever wondered what they would read? Here we go...

Homer (credit to Jae for this one):
"hello !!! I am homer !!! i want many woman !!! PM me !!! please no chinese!!!"

Carlos Boozer/Frank Castle:
"i am heido.i want smoke,drink and fuck many,bitches. no horse face!! "

Mike Bibby:
"sup. yo i'm juz da illest and realest you'll eva meet. Ima be a rappa. u gotz to be HOT, otherwise FALL BACK and get off my dick11!11!"


Jackal:
"Hi, I'm Jackal, and I'm from the beautiful Islands. I really am looking for love. Bah, who am I kidding I just wanna give it to you. No, no really I was joking. Love. I mean what is love? Is it just some insignificant word that people throw around, or is it really the pure gravitational pull two people feel towards each other? Bah, there was certainly no love between Shaq and Kobe. They just couldn't co-exist. I just want somebody to co-exist with, somebody to be Kobe to my Shaq. I need somebody to be number 2, to my number 1, like Kobe was to Shaq. I, much like Shaq, am dominant, and when they say I can't find love I want to prove them wrong. Call me. Or don't. Really, it's up to you. Because what's a phone call? It's not much. Then again you might not be able to afford. Bah, I dunno, do what you want."

Matthew/Cambyman:
"Calling all Shazzaz, you stupid cunts. I want gobbie. "

Tales:
"I am Tales LOL. I am looking for a special girl to take along with me on this journey of life, to share my future wealth, have lots of babies and fuck LOL. In my spare time if I am not studying or pooping LOL I am usually freaking the babies LOL "

classic, haha .. i didn't even have to read jackal's to get the jist of it - nice post [/quote]

[alexboom]

I had a great laugh, well done Stevan Jae made me laugh too with Jowe's caricature

[Ataraxia]

Najira:
"Hi Im Najira, Im five feet four inches, please dont be taller than me."

[J@3]

sho98mtx:

Hi. I saw you from across the room, your body looks similar to Kenyon Martins on ESPN 2k5. Did you ever play that game? The graphic rendering and animation is just sooo much smoother than NBA Live 2005, actually, I was talking to a girl the other day and she reminded me a bit of NBA Live 2005. She was short, boring and completely un-playable. No. Thank. You!

[Ataraxia]

BIGBEN2K5

"Im a huge ESPN 2K5 fan, my fantasy is to have room full of ESPN 2K5 screenshots. So what about you?, times up enough about you lets talk about ESPN 2K5 and how players sweat in it, it turns me on, im sure it turns everyone on and dont get me started on Stephen A. Smith."

[Arcane]

this is vintage cant wait for more

[Mikki]

this is vintage cant wait for more

yeah!

LMAO

You even got their posting styles.

[Jackal]

Hehe, bastards.

Good stuff guys, do James, Cameron & EG. Ooh do Benji.

[Dramacydal]

damn, that was hilarious. lol, the ones about homer, bibby and jackal almost made me spit out the water i was drinking.

you gotta do some more.

[Jowe]

good one Tales and Jae doing one of me...its funny cause its true.

I'll give this thing a shot

Benji:
"I'm looking for a lady who knows what she wants. Must be smart, witty. Benjistats states that the pace of the relationship must be 110, 100 being the average pace.
Now lets look at the Benjistats pleasure rating. This is per 48 mins, a woman gets an orgasim with Benji every 2minutes. So thats 48/2 = 24 times.
The average for the Nba is 1 per 48mins.

Now if this was the 1960's..........."

NLSC James
Hi, I'm James.

If any girls need any help pm me
I post the news so i'm very intellectual


EGarrett:
Hi , how are you? I'm looking for a long term relationship..
but if we get into an arguement, I'm going to lock up your fucken mouth and delete you from mankind

[Nick]

Hahaha Awesome stuff Stevan. They're so accurate.

Dre Naismith:

Hey! I got your letter, and firstly i must say i respect your thoughts and opinions. Now, here are my thoughts.

- You must be hot. In my opinion, this is a very important factor. Maybe not the most important, but it's important.

- You must be female. I can't stress that enough!

- No fat chicks. If i wanted to see a fat chick i'd watch a laker game from last season and point and laugh at Shaq.

- Must be motivated! You're not shaq, you're my date.

James:
i like hot girlies
IMO


Mikki:
Yeah!

LMAO

lets rock the casbar

Jowe:
can u cure my hairy palms disease dont pm me

Frank Castle:
Call me.I am sexy.
I AM HOT PIECE OF ass

[Matt]

haha, that 1 on Dre is CLASSIC!!!!! replica i tell ya!!!

[cklitsie]

Trick Daddy:
Whats up fellows.. err ladies...
Yo, yo, I'm Tricky Daddy, y'all, aka Ricky D, you know
One of the most thuggish rappers ever embraced by the mainstream
If you like Ricky Martin you will like me for sure!
So if you are a hot girl, holler!
By the way, This is my first time dating.[/quote]

[Jowe]

Logan
Can you dye your hair black?
Can you wear a shorter dress?
Can you get me a present?

Shep
Bitch

Slamharder
OMG!! I meet you in person at last, I've masturbated over your picture for weeks while breaking the 150km/h barrier!!

Ultranix
I can give you twice the orgasims jowe could give you! I'm better then all of the .org team.

[Arcane]

Trick Daddy:
Whats up fellows.. err ladies...
Yo, yo, I'm Tricky Daddy, y'all, aka Ricky D, you know
One of the most thuggish rappers ever embraced by the mainstream
If you like Ricky Martin you will like me for sure!
So if you are a hot girl, holler!
By the way, This is my first time dating.

[/quote]

[J@3]

I'll have a go at Trick Daddy...

Hello

I'm Trick Daddy, but I call myself Ricky D, clever huh? Feedback is appreciated

After hearing some feedback I've decided to release my new nick, Trick Daddy

What's your name?

Nevermind that's unimportant

[Tuomas]

funny stuff you got there

[.]

LMFAO

[Ataraxia]

damn man this thread is funny as hell