by el badman on Sat Aug 11, 2018 12:24 pm
While my ordeal doesn't seem like it can even compare here, I feel like I know what you're going through mp3. I've been prone to depression for quite a few years, but after I got divorced the symptoms certainly reached a whole other level of scary. Being already my own worst enemy with deep self-loathing issues, ending up all of sudden completely alone in an essentially empty house, with all of my family and friends 6000 miles away, that just created this sense of complete loneliness that is hard to even describe.
While I didn't make an actual attempt (the suicide hotline was as far as I went), I certainly felt at that time that there was just no point in carrying on, and the thought of ending it all felt my only relief. But I found comfort and support in some unexpected places, with my ex-brother-in-law essentially saving me from my own demons and showing me that it is worth continuing in this life, and embracing new experiences. It sounds cliché and I won't pretend that it was a complete turnaround, as I am still prone to these having those feelings once in a while, but it was enough of a jumpstart to get me going again.
Since then, I have met someone else and I now have a 2.5 year-old boy. While life is not all rainbows and fucking unicorns every day, I can certainly confirm that keeping up the fight is very much worth it. I hope things will start looking that way for you too, I wish you the best.
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