HOLY F*CKIN JESUS!!!!!

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HOLY F*CKIN JESUS!!!!!

Postby J@3 on Thu Jun 24, 2004 4:22 am

I dont know if this has been posted but fuck me dead and call me moses, check this out....

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=rovell/040623

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Postby . on Thu Jun 24, 2004 4:25 am

You got to be kidding me :shock:

But knowing ESPN page 2 is always full of Bullshit, I might not be sure about this.

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:shock: :shock: :shock:
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Postby J@3 on Thu Jun 24, 2004 4:56 am

Yeah you're right, it's probably just a joke. Wish it wasnt tho
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Postby dan_suth on Thu Jun 24, 2004 5:15 am

"Right now, he doesn't look athletic,"

........

Sefu says that his client-to-be has never played anyone of NBA-caliber. Actually, under Page 2's questioning, Sefu admitted he's never played anyone, period


Even if this were true information and everything (which very well could be possible), there's no way this guy would make it anywhere in the league for a while. I mean, he's skinnier and gumpier than Shawn Bradley, and he's never played a 'real' game in his entire life. What are the odds a player like this could succeed in the NBA? Hell, the article even said he probably won't block any shots!
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Postby J@3 on Thu Jun 24, 2004 5:21 am

If it is real, wouldnt you be just a little bit curious as to what your team could do with a 7'11 guy over the years? The article says he's only 19. Every time I read it I doubt it more and more, but still.
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Postby twolvezfanfoever on Thu Jun 24, 2004 6:00 am

I saw it earlier today and I was shocked as hell.He needs to wait a few year,gain about another 50 pounds of muscle.Get some tapes to watch,then he could wreck.I know somebody has to agree wit me.Same thin goes toward Mr. Bradley
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Postby VMS on Thu Jun 24, 2004 6:41 am

this is BS. This kid does not exist. I searched the internet, and his name did not come up at all. Chimezie Kudu is not real. I don't doubt that this height is impossible, but search google, he's not there. And in google, you can make up a name, and they probably have a website. The fact that there is also no picture of his full body in comparison to anyone, or a shot of his face, I think this is a hoax. The fact that no one on the internet has heard of him, practically proves it. I mean, I myself have a couple websites, and I'm nothing special. A record-breaking basketball player would atleast have some other form of recognition. This not only is a hoax, but its poorly done.
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Postby Amphatoast on Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:19 am

I need to see one of 2 things to believe this:
1. ESPN talk about it on sportscenter
2. Being talked at at the draft.
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Postby jdb on Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:26 am

the picture is photshopped...originally it was shaq next to yao with west all star jerseys on

also, if the only hoop hes ever played on was a zebra skin net then how come hes on a hardwood painted floor with those shoes on?
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Postby EGarrett on Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:34 am

It's a joke...and a bad one at that...because it's not April Fool's Day and it's not that funny.

He's just lying to people...
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Postby Nick on Thu Jun 24, 2004 4:46 pm

LOL :D Golden.

This has to be a prank.

1. He's standing next to the two best centers in the NBA in a photo shoot, and nobody's ever heard of him? righto.
2. "But because Kudu speaks a dialect of Hottentot, the letter -- written using the modern Latin alphabet -- was mistakenly thrown out by a high-ranking league official's assistant."
That has bullshit written all over it!
3. There was a cutoff date a while ago for players declaring for the draft, and the deadline has passed.

Although, i wish it were true too.
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Postby MaD_hAND1e on Thu Jun 24, 2004 5:05 pm

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
this dude played basketball all his life using a ball made of:
FUSED SHEEP'S TESTICLES
now u know it's gotta be fake.
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Postby Andrew on Thu Jun 24, 2004 5:58 pm

I'm with EG. As a joke, it's pretty poor. Page 2 has some entertaining articles from time to time, but this kind of joke has become too cliche, even if it's a parody.
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Postby hmm on Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:41 pm

.
Last edited by hmm on Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Jackal on Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:58 pm

Why would he die?
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Postby . on Thu Jun 24, 2004 11:06 pm

Yeah but he would run the whole floor with just 2 steps :lol:
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Postby Jackal on Fri Jun 25, 2004 12:40 am

Notice the color difference in the jersey's.

Shaq's + Yao's = white.

7-11's = yellowish.
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Postby Mikki on Fri Jun 25, 2004 2:15 am

Psycho Jackal wrote:Notice the color difference in the jersey's.

Shaq's + Yao's = white.

7-11's = yellowish.


yah. 7-11's jersey looks kinda glossy in the neck, and he looks like Hakeem!
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Postby Tony on Fri Jun 25, 2004 3:10 am

the pictures are 100% fake, but they don't have much to do with the legitimacy of the article though. maybe the editor just wanted to have some illustration for the article, and since there's no images of the guy, they had to settle for those.

it still could be true, regardless of the pictures, but they sure don't help the article which itself sounds completely bogus.
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Postby Alex Italo on Fri Jun 25, 2004 3:21 am

This picture is clearly fake... If this reunion really have happened, wouldn't be journalists asking Yao and Shaq about this guy right now?



Psycho Jackal wrote:
Why would he die?


I guess Homer was just joking but a guy tall like that probably would have some sort of gland disorder and it wouldn't be odd if he suffers from a poor health condition. Other kinds of injuries that are common to people big like that are knees and back problems.
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Postby MagicFan1 on Fri Jun 25, 2004 3:23 pm

If you would continue to look down the page and click on the fan feedback page you would see that its fake. Look at some of these comments by people and the responses they are given...


Here is the intro to the fan feedback...

No, Chimezie Kudu does not mean "Sidd Finch" in Hottentot. But, despite geographical obstacles, Chimezie is a very close relative of the fictional pitcher dreamed up by the late great George Plimpton in the April 1, 1985 issue of Sports Illustrated.

The date gave away the Finch piece.

thought "The Legend of Kudu" wouldn't have been believed on any day of the year. But my e-mail inbox does not lie. I received almost 500 messages with the subject lines like: "Truth or not?", "Chimezie: Fact or fiction?", "Request for Kudu's agent's information."

Now here are some of the respones by readers in BOLD and then the editors responses in ITALICS

I was wondering if this was a true story and if so, do you really expect a team to draft such an unknown? If he has no game experience, and also has never played against someone, what general manager would be willing to take on that kind of project? I mean the team who would draft this guy would have to teach him not only the NBA game but also the fundamentals of the game that many children learn at the age of 5. In my eyes, it's just another Manute Bol waiting to happen. Let's see if we hear his name on Thursday night.


-- A.J., Frederick, MD



A.J., if they call his name Thursday night, I'm going into hiding when they try to find him


I don't know if you intended the material to be humorous, but that story lifted my spirit all the same. What's his agent's contact info? I must chat with him.


-- Jason A.


Mr. Sefu can be contacted at (011) 27-21-48554253. That's (011) 27-21-GULLIBLE


I have a bet going on the story you wrote regarding the 7-foot-11 Mr. Chimezie Kudu. I say it was accurate reporting of a remarkably tall man who may or may not ever become an NBA player. A co-worker says it was just a prank that you dreamed up for some harmless fun. Which is it? If true, $100 says he bungles about the league for a few years at most before fading back to obscurity.


-- David H.


David, it was accurate reporting of a fictional figure. I stand by my fake story and all the made-up facts in it.


One of my co-workers actually believes the story was true. He is so adamant about the authenticity of the article that he even told me the guy was on the draft prospects list and that he would bet $100 on it. I couldn't take his money though. He speaks an ancient language that we can't translate? He might have a deal with 7-Eleven? For cheesy hot dogs? That was the dead giveaway. Not that he was 7-foot-11 and 265 pounds.


-- Jack P


What's with all these $100 bets?


Just take a look at the socks in the picture (ones in the foreground and the background). They're exactly the same in the way where the folds are located. He also has a tattoo in one picture (unless it's tribal, I can't see how he could afford it). Seven-foot-11 and 260 pounds with 1 percent body fat isn't enough to live playing basketball.


-- Bryan A.




Bryan, I thought the article was enough to suggest this wasn't real. I'm pretty sure that's a tribal tattoo on the picture with him (without a head!) Yao and Shaq. They do those tribal tattoos for free.



Chimezie is a Nigerian name. A "Hottentot," who would properly be called a Khoisan, wouldn't be named Kudu, either.


-- Andrew B.



Now that's a smart ESPN.com reader. Chimezie is a Nigerian name which means "Let God fix as he wish," according to Swagga.com, where I researched African names before arriving on Chimezie. I couldn't locate a Web site that could help me out with appropriate names for Hottentots.


Darren Rovell, who hopes he's not forever remembered as the guy who invented Chimezie Kudu, can be reached at darren.rovell@espn3.com. If he doesn't respond, it's just because his e-mail is still clogged.
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Postby Andrew on Fri Jun 25, 2004 3:32 pm

I still think it's a weak joke, satirical as it may be.
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