Since we are entering the finals, and the regular season awards have been given, it's time for the other awards. The bizarre Crazy Awards, which are given to the exact opposite of the winners of the regular awards.
Less Valuable Player (LVP): Knowing that the MVP is the player that makes his team better when he is ON-court, rather than OFF-court, this award goes to a player that during the season made his team much better with him... sitting at home watching the game.
CANDIDATE: Chris Webber (SAC/PHI): Individually he excelled, but colectively something was wrong when he played, in Philly and in Sacramento. After his trade, the Kings kept their win/loss record. And when he came to the Sixers, they got positive records when playing WITHOUT Chris...
Worst Rookie Of The Year (WROY): This is for any rookie that hasn't lived up to the hype of the 2004 Draft, or anyone who's bound to leave the L soon enough.
CANDIDATE: JR Smith (NO): Just hops, hops and more hops. He doesn't play D, he doesn't drive the ball, and he didn't stand out in any individual stat in a shitty team like the Hornets this season. He can improve, a lot, but right now he's nowhere near other rookies such as Emeka or Ben.
Worst Defensive Player Of The Year (WDPOY): Player that this season was just offense, and little or nothing defense. His forehead faced the rim much more than his back did.
CANDIDATE: Carmelo Anthony (DEN): If it wasn't for George Karl's arrival, we would not have seen ANY defense by Melo. For a starting SF, 6'8" in height, in a Playoff team like the Nuggets, an average of less than a block and less than a steal is VERY unsatisfying. The new Glenn Robinson?
Worst Coach Of The Year (WCOY): Coach that didn't seem to do anything decent with a supposedly good team in his hands. Maybe the season was bad because of the players, but when you loose, it's always the coach's fault...?
CANDIDATE: Lenny Wilkens (NYK): Mucho old school ball for such a young team, don't you think? He should have thrown the towel a while ago, considering he's the winningest coach in the NBA... but also has a record for "most games lost".
Other candidates were his succesor Herb Williams, that made the Knicks even WORST (how could that be possible?), Byron Scott (the West was much better for him) and Flip Saunders (plain bad luck).
NBA 12th Man Award: For that special player whose always present... on the bench. That player that only rises from his chair to congratulate his teammates or wave a Gatorade towel in the air. That player who never, ever sweats, unless he's had an excruciating... team practice.
CANDIDATE: Darko Milicic (DET): For coach Brown, the dyed Euro is forgotten somewhere in a deep and hidden part of his memory. Nonetheless, for a strange reason, everytime he gazes at the bench, Darko is always there in the bench, waiting for his turn to go in. He conforms by giving his seat to his teammates at timeout, and he's acustomed to having his hands grabbing a towel more than the rock. He's got talent... but not near Larry Brown.
Least Improved Player (LIP): This award goes to that guy we don't have any more patience with. You cannot expect anything from him. He's advancing... backwards.
CANDIDATE: Michael Olowokandi (MIN): He's hopeless. Zero contribution, zero devotion, zero everything. He was fucking #1 overall pick, I can't imagine how...
Well, that would be it.
What would you change? What other categories would you put?
Any feedback appreciated!
non-pussify himself haha that is really a nice one. I guess c-webb is too old too really get into that non-pussification-thingy right now.
