Offseason: July 2010
The 2010 offseason began with some retirements. Ray Allen announced his surprise retirement from the NBA at the age of 34. Ben Wallace also called it quits. Kurt Thomas predictably retired, and Jason Williams called it quits for the second time. Other retirements included Eduardo Najera, Kevin Ollie, Lindsay Hunter and Adonal Foyle. Weak retirement class this year. The coaches were most concerning. George Karl resigned due to health concerns, and our coach, Flip Saunders, also announced he was done coaching. Looks like I'll need to get a replacement.
After much hoopla, many were disappointed to see LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Carlos Boozer re-sign with their respective teams to maximum contracts. It looked like Chris Bosh would follow suit before we saw one of the most exciting trades in recent years. Bosh was dealt to Portland in a three-way trade which sent LaMarcus Aldridge to Golden State, and Andris Biedrins, Martell Webster, Rudy Fernandez and Portland's 2011 first-rounder to Toronto. Pretty awesome. Which I could have gotten in on that, if only to score a second-rounder or something. Oh well.
Due to the owner's "no big signings, god damn it" policy, I had opted to accept Josh Howard's $11 million option to preserve cap for next summer. This left me with about $15 million. After signing my three rookies, it was down to about $8 million (I gave Liam a bonus, considering his being my brother and all). I watched the Chicago Bulls pay far too much money to sign overrated shooting guard Joe Johnson (nine figures? Really, GarPax?), the Heat add Amar'e Stoudemire and the Knicks sign...*drumroll*... David Lee, Tracy McGrady, Hakim Warrick and Rudy Gay!. I guess they can't all be winners.
I pursued John Salmons and Raja Bell to temporarily shore up the SG position, only to have them sign with Atlanta and Houston, respectively. Eventually, I settled on former Wizard Larry Hughes, and hope he wouldn't take so many bad shots. With JaVale McGee being bad at basketball, I wanted some insurance at the Center position. After tarnishing his European reputation by threatening to rape the wives and daughters of low-balling Euroleague general managers, I was able to secure Darko Milicic to a two year, $4 million deal. To fill out the roster, I signed former all-star (current scrub) Steve Francis and sharpshooter Salim Stoudamire to minimum contracts.
-WiZZnutZZ-
Meet The Newest Wizards
[ Image ] [ Image ] [ Image ] [ Image ] July 13, 2010 - This is not a joke post. This is what it's come to. I was cautiously optimistic when we got this Washburn guy in here, hoping we could get a Sam Presti-type figure, but that proved to be a pipedream. Instead, we come out of the prized 2010 offseason with Larry Hughes and Darko Milicic as our prize acquisitions. No kidding. Not only am I going to need to change the name of this blog because of the team's name change, but we need to endure another terrible season. Thanks a lot.
He really has a lot of nerve too, signing his brother. We could have gotten another draft stea like Dexter Pittman, but instead we got his 6'4" PF brother. Sweet. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go purchase a stress ball now.
Harsh/hurtful words, but I had bigger fish to fry. I noticed that the Timberwolves, already stacked at the point guard position, had signed point guard Luke Ridnour. Naturally, David Kahn defended the signing, saying that Jonny Flynn, Ramon Sessions, Ricky Rubio and Ridnour could co-exist. Being a fan of Sessions, I made an offer for the former Bucks guard. I offered project-who-would-never-be-good Nick Young and a second-rounder for him. Kahn demanded Mike Miller and James Singleton be included. Since I wanted them gone anyway, I was very pleased to oblige. I had my point guard of the future, and some savings to report to the boss.
Its going to be August in a couple minutes, and I still don't have a head coach. Have to cut this entry short however. The Suns just traded Steve Nash!