Best NBA quotes and one-liners.

Players, coaches and analysts will always produce some quotes or situations worth remembering or laughing about. Post them here

The Bulls entered the NBA for the 1966-67 season after Chicago had experienced decades of disappointment with professional basketball teams. "They'd had the Stags, the Packers, the Zephyrs," Kerr told the Chicago Sun-Times. "We were trying to sell something in a city that was a failure for it." The Stags had lasted four years in the 1940s before folding; the Packers, who became the Zephyrs, had spent two seasons in Chicago, then became the Baltimore (later Washington) Bullets.

Kerr was brought in as the Bulls' first head coach, and he tabbed close friend Al Bianchi as an assistant. Jerry Colangelo was in the front office. Colangelo and Kerr played pickup games in the preseason against the Bulls' top draft choices and weren't heartened by the results. "Johnny and I didn't lose a game all summer," Colangelo later told the Sun-Times. "I knew we were in trouble."

Kerr struggled through the bumpy days of an expansion team in his typical style. In the midst of a losing streak, Kerr tried to pump up the team in a pregame talk in Boston. He told Bob Boozer to pretend he was the best scorer in basketball, Jerry Sloan to pretend he could stop anyone in the game, Guy Rodgers to pretend he was the top point guard in the league, and Erwin Mueller to pretend he was a rebounding machine. "We played the Celtics at the Garden -- green banners hanging everywhere -- and lost by 17," Kerr recalled for the Phoenix Gazette. "I was pacing around the locker room afterward, trying to figure what to say when Mueller walked up, put his arm around me and said, 'Don't worry about it, coach. Just pretend we won.' "

http://www.clintcam.com/barkley/

You've got to put Spreewell's family feeding one in here.

-iverson abut practice

-Marbury declaring he is the best PG in the league

"Isiah Thomas is building a championship team... too bad it's in San Antonio."
Charles Barkley on the Nazr Mohammed deal.

This one is great

(When asked if there was resentment towards former Raptor Vince Carter) "Uh, yeah. I mean, it's tough to say, woulda, shoulda, coulda, ifs and buts like candy and nuts, you know, you never know. This, that, and the other thing. Who knows? You know, there's a lot of what-ifs. You know, my whole life is a lot of what-ifs."

Some reporter asked Shaq about the Parthanon when he was in spain for the olimpics and Shaq said "I didnt keep track of what clubs we went to."

Any Bill Walton quotes will surely bring a smile, yet confused look, on your face.

Any Bill Walton quotes will surely bring a smile, yet confused look, on your face.

Please give us some pearls...

Cklitsie, I laughed my ass off with the "Barkley's quotes" link

"He's instant offense... on both ends of the floor, I might add."
Barkley on Cuttino Mobley

Haha, that was awesome

Earlier in Shaq's career, Chuck's advice: "He needs to learn the 2 words I tried to teach Oliver Miller....I'M FULL!"

Another great quote by Barkley.

A great misonception about Iverson is that he hates practice. Remember that quote was taken after a game 5 loss to the celtics which eliminated them in the first. This was after the sixers made the finals, but injuries really hurt them in 2002. Despite that, and the fact that iverson had a broken fucking hand, they battled their way back from 0-2 to force a game 5.

Yet despite all that, he gets aksed a question about if his involvment in practice hurt his team. I understand 100% why he looked and acted disgusted at that question.

That Barkley link is a hoot!

Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”

Kenny: "I think New Jersey has a chance to beat them. If they had Vince Carter all year they'd be the three seed."
Barkley: "Have you been drinking again?"

Sir Charles to Steve Kerr: "Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive."

After TNT showed a stat that Charles had the lowest career three point percentage amongst players who took at least 250 3 point attempts in the playoffs - "To whoever put that stat together... 'Yo Mama'".

After Kenny Smith expressed surprised at Barkley's ability to pronounce Suns guard Leandro Barbosa's name, Charles replied: "I'm bilingual. I speak profanity and English."

When Chuck was asked by the judge if he had any regrets about throwing guy through a window in Orlando he said, "I regret we weren't on a higher floor."

And my favorite..

On Larry Bird being criticized by teammates for shooting too much: "If you’ve got a Mercedes, you drive it."

barkley is always good for one-liners. shaq too- pretty funny when he's pissed off

"chocolate thunder" hawkins had some good ones also

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. - Wilt Chamberlain

If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy. - Bobby Knight

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket. - Abe Lemons

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball. - Phil Jackson

We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors. - Weldon Drew

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok. - Shaquille O'Neal

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok. - Shaquille O'Neal

Isn't that Ron Artest?

Nopes, that was O'Neal.

Shaq Quotes (3)

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

who says u have to be American

Thoes Barkley lines are pretty funny.

#
# Ernie: "Here's Shaquile O'Neal, he's put on 15 pounds in the offseason, all muscle he says."
Charles: "That's what all fat people say - 'It's all muscle'"

Ndudi Ebi quotes from SLAM! Issue 69

When asked where he sees himself in five years, he answers without missing a beat: "I will be an NBA All-Star"

Slam quotes from that article:

And it bothers him [Ebi] that rating services don't have him second in the class of 03, if not the first.

and that year was Lebron's senior year too. What was this kid smoking? He's not even in the NBA anymore, and I doubt we'll be seeing him in an all-star game in 2008-2009, or even 10 years for that matter.

What about when Tim Thomas called K-Mart fugazy.

What the hell is that word.

Tony Massenburg on steroids in the NBA: "Steroids? Are you kidding me? You already have enough trouble getting these guys to lift as it is."

Barkley on Mark Cuban: "Even if he lives to be 1000 years old, he ain't never gonna know more about basketball than me. (Pause) If he did, he wouldn't have put together that soft-cake team."