Breaking News: Our dreams come true
September 28, 2010
With a potential lockout threatening the NBA, a shocking purchase was announced earlier this morning. William Bill Gates III has purchased the league for an undisclosed amount. When asked about his acquisition Bill Gates answered, “My kids are big fans of the NBA, so I had to do it for them. It’s not even about gaining money or losing it, but it was to make their dreams come true.” And that he did, announcing also a Fantasy Draft to be taken place right before the season. He also announced the shortening of the NBA season to 29 games and best out of three in the playoffs. “I decided to shake things up a bit, and start a new league in a sense. We want everyone to forget the old NBA and start from scratch. The order will be determined by all teams drawing a random number, which will be their pick. The draft will then proceed with the team drawing the 1st pick and ending with the team selecting 30th. Then the following rounds will continue in a serpentine order. That way all teams will have an even opportunity to build their franchise. I also decided to be in charge of the MVP award as well as all of the other accolades.”
This will surely shake things up and potentially provide record breaking ratings, meaning all around profits for all. The only losers in this fantasy bonanza are the Sacramento Kings. They have been sold to Alen Omeragic, who relocated them to Hawaii. “I decided Hawaii for the relocation so I can relax and watch basketball for the rest of my life. I will also pay for the stadium and develop it to my liking. I hope the state of Hawaii prospers.” The new team name was also announced this morning, and they will be the Hawaii Supermen, with a Superman logo.
I don’t know how casual basketball fans feel about this new sale, but I surely don’t want to wake up from this dream.