Need help with women?

[Laxation]

In hindsight... wrong...

[[Q]]

hmm this'll be an interesting topic, considering there are plenty of teenagers in high/middle school who are in superficial relationships...

but anyways, growing up in a traditional Asian household, I don't think I was properly equipped to deal with this (and it didn't help that I grew up in white suburbia, where I have no chance with white girls)

I've been really hoping there's an exception to your #2 up there, but I've been slowly trying to get over it... but that's a whole different story.
here's my most recent attempt:

this girl I know just started IMing me two days ago asking for help exchanging her digital camera she bought at the beginning of the year (which in most cases is not possible due to a 14 day return policy on cameras). I told her I could exchange it for her and she also asked about this SD card that we had a crazy sale on... I told her we were sold out of them but I'll see what I can do. I have no problem doing this for her despite it being against store policy because they can't afford to fire me if they ever noticed, so I would've done this for any of my friends.
so she comes in last night with her mom and I exchange out her camera and I happened to have one of the SD cards (it was returned an hour before). so she seems pretty happy about that and I thought that was the end of it, seeing that she probably just needed a favor and asked everybody she knows that works at Circuit City. so I get a text message from her later that night thanking me (with a lot of exclamation points) and saying something about how she "owes me soooo big" and she wants to buy me In 'N Out or lunch "to show her appreciation".
Your thoughts, oh wise Laxation?

[MacGuyver]

i wonder if you can have any pointers for my friend. she is with this high-school drop out guy, and her parents doesn't want anything to do with the bum.

i always told her to wait, when she'll be successful enough with her career and all.

what would be your advise on that?

[Sac-1]

2. If you have been friends with a girl, but now realise you want more, bad luck... it aint gonna happen.

Damn, that just ruined it for me. I'm in denial of this fact, so i'll keep trying.

[Drex]

Damn, that just ruined it for me. I'm in denial of this fact, so i'll keep trying.

Don't, man. You'll get hurt. The only thing you can do, it's to get her drunk and enjoy the moment.

[CERVANTES]

I'm in the second case . I wanted more from a relationship with a girl and ...

Anyways we're still friends, that's... good... I supose



























PD:

[Pera]

2. If you have been friends with a girl, but now realise you want more, bad luck... it aint gonna happen.

Oh man don't tell me about it.
My best mate was crazy about this girl in our class,so he decided to talk to her and was a friend with her at first,the girl had him for a very good friend.And he popped the question (this was at the start of the school),the girl said no and he was wrecked for a month.He was in a state of sadness.Nothing could make him happy.And the sad part is two months later,he is still into the girl.Also it was his approach,I don't know why but he always pops the question on a MSN convo.And in my opinion is best to look the girl in the eye and tell her.This from personal experience.

Can't say I was never tempted to do the same,but in the end I never did and I'm really happy where I stand.

[Silas]

this thread makes me depressed.... lol

[Dramacydal]

I just came in here to let you know that I don't need no help at all. Been together with my girl for 15 months now and it couldn't be better, even after all that time it's still perfect.

Good luck to all you guys.

[Steve [The Spiderman]]

See...I've had friends that are girls and girls that I've even dumped in the past still wanting to get back together and hook up. I've heard that once a girl is your friend, you're screwed...but I've never had that problem.

[Jugs]

Okay. I really like this girl. My friend keeps asking her out for me over MSN and I don't want him to and he's just trying to help me and that's okay. He's being too persistant but that's not the point.

He apparently has gotten some information and of course told me. Now, what I'd like to know Mr. Laxation is what does a chick mean when she says, "It'll all work out in the end."

That's what my friend told me she said when he kept asking her out for me.

Also, do you think she likes me when she says to my friend "It's not like I'm saying no." "I'm not looking for a boyfriend at the moment but I do like him more than a friend"

Do you also think physical contact is important? I've seen this chick a lot of times, I took her to the movies but we didn't even hug. We haven't even had a hug yet lol. Should I be worrying about that or if when she eventually does become my girlfriend, it should come naturally lol.

I'm really confused and worried and I shouldn't be because I'm doing a good job at the moment but I just really really don't wanna screw this up. 26 months is too long.

[Jackal]

I think every guy has had the "friend" dilemma. You fall in love with a girl who sees you as your friend..only. I think every guy can say "been there, done that". Well, hoped we could do that.

I'm currently trying to make up my mind between two girls right now. I've gone out with both of them during the last couple of weeks, but I'm still uncertain.

One girl I've just met, she's really good looking and quite reserved, I have a thing for the sophisticated/nose up in the air type. Then the other one is a girl I used to study with on the Island, she left for Holland a year before I did. We were good friends, then lost contact, and recently met up at a mutual friend's get together. She's attractive, but homely type attractive, like cute, not gorgeous. She's funny and quircky, she's a lot like me in that aspect.

But this other girl...she fine and her bum, oh her bum...eh..have a nice night fellas.

[cyanide]

2. If you have been friends with a girl, but now realise you want more, bad luck... it aint gonna happen.

I hear this all the time, but it's not necessarily true. You can be friends initially, but there's always the possibility that a romantic relationship can occur afterwards.

Jugs: When she says, "It'll all work out in the end," it's either: "he'll be happy with somebody else in the end" or "we'll finally have a relationship in the end."

Physical contact is important, but take it slow, always. Look for cues, such as good eye contact, lots of interest when talking, if she makes subtle gestures or light touching, etc. Don't worry if you guys haven't hugged yet, but that kinda stuff comes naturally.

Big thing, don't have somebody ask a girl out for you. Big no-no. It shows that you don't have the guts to ask her out personally. There's nothing wrong with acquiring information, but having someone else to do the job doesn't work that way.

Man, I feel old.

[shadowgrin]

Do you also think physical contact is important?

Yes. Damn yes.

[Joe']

I have a question for Mr. Laxation: How can I make my ex-girlfriend want me again?
She's been a BITCH (yes, with capital letters) when we were together and now I really feel the need to make her pay for what she's done to me (if you're curious and really wanna know what happened just read my post on the "Looking back on 2006....into 2007" thread.)

[Fitzy]

in short, you cant. for girls especially, even if your the one that broke it off they always move on so theres really no point trying, unless you have heaps of money

[CMJ3]

The worst place i was put into with girls was when i was in this love triangle type of thing, where i liked one girl and she liked me but then there was this other girl who liked me but i didnt like her. I felt like a dick after i turned away this other girl because i must have been leading her on if you know what i mean and i didnt even know it. It was a bad situation.

[bigh0rt]

The worst place i was put into with girls was when i was in this love triangle type of thing, where i liked one girl and she liked me but then there was this other girl who liked me but i didnt like her. I felt like a dick after i turned away this other girl because i must have been leading her on if you know what i mean and i didnt even know it. It was a bad situation.

Should've laid some pipe in both of 'em.

[hipn]

himynameisjoe, forget it. If she had sex with another dude and doesn't want anything to do with you, then it's done.

But if she seems like she still wants you, ask her out, start a relationship and do whatever you want to get her back"

But chances are, she is done, over, finished.

[CMJ3]

Hehe, nah i wasnt into the other chick really, she was ok looking but nothing too special but the one i went out with was hot and she was a fun person too, plus she was quite outgoing

[Laxation]

but anyways, growing up in a traditional Asian household, I don't think I was properly equipped to deal with this (and it didn't help that I grew up in white suburbia, where I have no chance with white girls)

Sure you do… but its probably that attitude that’s preventing them from getting to know you. Attitude and confidence is 90% of what you need. What you say is around 7%, your looks are part of the rest.

I've been really hoping there's an exception to your #2 up there, but I've been slowly trying to get over it... but that's a whole different story.

There are none. Stop looking for it. Stop trying to find one.
To get over her, stop talking to her completely and wipe her out of your life. It helps, ALOT
This is called NC – short for No Contact, and helps to get through break-ups, or to get over that huge crush.

this girl I know

For how long? Check #2…

just started IMing me two days ago

Ugh… MSN SUCKS ASS… If there was ever a program invented to get yourself into the friendzone, it would be spelt with an M, S and N

asking for help exchanging her digital camera she bought at the beginning of the year (which in most cases is not possible due to a 14 day return policy on cameras). I told her I could exchange it for her and she also asked about this SD card that we had a crazy sale on... I told her we were sold out of them but I'll see what I can do. I have no problem doing this for her despite it being against store policy because they can't afford to fire me if they ever noticed, so I would've done this for any of my friends.
so she comes in last night with her mom and I exchange out her camera and I happened to have one of the SD cards (it was returned an hour before). so she seems pretty happy about that and I thought that was the end of it, seeing that she probably just needed a favor and asked everybody she knows that works at Circuit City. so I get a text message from her later that night thanking me (with a lot of exclamation points) and saying something about how she "owes me soooo big" and she wants to buy me In 'N Out or lunch "to show her appreciation".

It sounds like she is just using you to be honest… It would be really useful to have a permanent hook-up at Circuit City to get returns whenever you need them…
However, you could play this out like a date anyway to see what happens.

Some pointers for a date:
- Tease her, and be playful with her. It communicates that you are better than her, and are also different from all those losers who buy her things
- Throw in stuff like, “you’re such a good friend” every now and then. This may seem to go against #2, however, when a guy says to a girl that he wants to be friends, the girl starts thinking, “Why doesn’t he like me? Why does he just want to be friends? Id better try harder to make him like me…”
- Have fun. Don’t go in there with any goals, except to have fun.

[Laxation]

i wonder if you can have any pointers for my friend. she is with this high-school drop out guy, and her parents doesn't want anything to do with the bum.

i always told her to wait, when she'll be successful enough with her career and all.

what would be your advise on that?

She obviously feels a lot of attraction to him... probably because he is the typical bad-boy... (which is what all nice guys should aim to be, by the way...)
Why would you want to stop their fun anyway?

2. If you have been friends with a girl, but now realise you want more, bad luck... it aint gonna happen.

Damn, that just ruined it for me. I'm in denial of this fact, so i'll keep trying.

So was I... check #3
Your best bet (I know, it sucks to hear it... but when you are ready, you will know what to do) your best bet is to stop talking to her. Wipe her out of your life completely. It works absolute wonders, whether you are trying to get over a breakup, or just get over that huge crush. No Contact (NC) is fucking fantastic

I just came in here to let you know that I don't need no help at all. Been together with my girl for 15 months now and it couldn't be better, even after all that time it's still perfect.

Ever had a fight with her?

See...I've had friends that are girls and girls that I've even dumped in the past still wanting to get back together and hook up. I've heard that once a girl is your friend, you're screwed...but I've never had that problem.

Its different if the guy is making the girl his friend... completely different. Doing that communicates all the right things.
1. you are too good for the girl
2. there is something wrong with her
3. you are not needy, independant, and get what you want

[Jackal]

Either you're a woman or Oprah. Take your pick.

[Laxation]

I'm really confused and worried and I shouldn't be because I'm doing a good job at the moment but I just really really don't wanna screw this up. 26 months is too long.

26 MONTHS????????
YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 26 MONTHS?

Ill answer the rest when I find out if this is true, or if I just misinterpreted it

[CMJ3]

Whats the best way to tell a girl your not interested but you still wanna be friends, like i can tell this chick has a thing for me but i just wanna be friends so i dont wanna damage that but i gotta put the idea out there that im not interested.