Dear LiveJournal,

Other video games, TV shows, movies, general chit-chat...this is an all-purpose off-topic board where you can talk about anything that doesn't have its own dedicated section.

Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby mp3 on Sun Sep 10, 2017 8:39 pm

Yeah I do think I shouldn't of bothered leaving and it's caused its share of problems but I think I had to try nevertheless
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Andrew on Sun Sep 10, 2017 8:57 pm

Better than regretting not exploring an opportunity, and again, it's not like you sunk years into a venture that wasn't going to pan out. Hope going back to the old gig works out. (Y)
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby mp3 on Mon Mar 26, 2018 4:55 am

Well my career has moved in a completely different direction last month after being unhappy in my return back to my old job I moved out of manufacturing all together to begin life as an office supplies delivery driver.

I'd never driven a van that size, I'd never worked with office supplies so don't know what half the stock is and I'd never worked with the public either so it's all a learning process for me.

Things I like so far are being able to work on my own Iam out all day, I have free use of my phone and now that my confidence is growing I've being playing a few podcasts as I drive, things I don't like are having to many jobs on that I don't get them all done which sometimes you can't help but you feel like crap about and also messing up a delivery which has happened too lol
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Andrew on Mon Mar 26, 2018 10:46 am

Sounds like a drastic change, hope it works out for you!
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby mp3 on Tue May 29, 2018 8:21 pm

3 months... 3 months is how long I lasted as a van driver, to say this passed month has being hard is an understatement. I didn't know it at the time I took the job that I would be in a pressure cooker working for a growing company as there sole delivery driver pulled between 4 sales reps who wanted there customers looking after more I mind started to show cracks and mental health issues that I had back in 2012 being treated for PTS after losing 3 family members and my mother having a cancer scare all in the space of 5 months.

I started to have panic attacks again leaving me absent from work twice and even tho I explained my problem and even in todays world with the stigma I was fired, I've never been fired from any job before so that was something new so now what does the future hold for me?

Its being a testing few months at home and have a family member off the rails meaning we have looked after her 4 year old daughter for a couple of separate weeks apart which is helpful but that's what you do for family.

So far Iam just spending time with my daughter and getting my head right before I look for work but I do feel at a lost to say the least.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Andrew on Tue May 29, 2018 9:11 pm

Sorry to hear it man, sounds like a rough time. Hope something else comes along soon, but in the meantime, look after yourself and do what you need to do to get into a healthier frame of mind.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby mp3 on Wed May 30, 2018 2:23 am

Cheers mate, I think when I return to work il hold out for something that suits my working background and skill set, afterall I have over 20 years experience and when I was working in that industry I always wondered if the grass was greener as they say but I think I crave that stability and knowledge of understanding of the job Iam doing.

Ive being taking in a few playoff games which in all honesty I haven't watched an nba game since late Feb and the ps4 hasn't being used for gaming in that long either. I think mental Iam going to strip it down and get back to basics refocusing on the things that used to keen me sane, I love family life and basketball will always be my 2nd love next to my daughter but I think it's also important to stay true to roots and the things that make you who you are.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby [Q] on Wed May 30, 2018 2:39 am

I have worked for a couple of "growing companies" before and while some give you a good opportunity to grow or get into some things you wouldnt be able to in a bigger company, most of the time they are concerned about costs and payroll. They try to squeeze every last bit out of each employee and often times ask them to do more than they were initially hired to do so they don't have to hire another employee. It's bullshit. At my company right now, no one gets raises unless they demand them or threaten to leave

For that reason, I have been hesitant at looking at job opportunities at unknown companies or start ups and have been really only pursuing ones at well known and established companies
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Andrew on Wed May 30, 2018 2:58 am

Agreed, working for smaller companies in general can be tough. They'll often sell it as being "like a family", but end up using you or mismanaging the business in some way as a result. That's not to say it isn't a good opportunity as it can be rewarding and a great atmosphere, but other times there's more stability and a defined role in being a worker bee for a larger organisation (or working in a trade where business is steady).
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby formx on Sat Jul 21, 2018 3:41 am

its not all about that we could live better
our girls fighting more than boys now thats matter
we used to fight when we were young back in the ghetto
we should be smart and try to live like a white person
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby koberulz on Wed Aug 01, 2018 10:12 am

Hired a bloke on Airtasker to write a decent back-end for a website I have that lists my DVD/Blu-ray collection. Which he did, completely undocumented. After saying he was going to document it, I heard nothing for two months despite repeated messages, and had to cancel the task.

Now I have a website I can't use, so I created another job to actually document it, which was accepted by a guy who doesn't know the code and wants the documentation from the previous developer so he can figure out how it works.

FFS.

And somehow in changing all my passwords after canceling the first task, it's broken the entire thing and it's completely inaccessible, unless the first dev sabotaged it on his way out.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby mp3 on Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:36 pm

Well Dear LiveJournal I don't know where to begin.

I life has took a completely different turn and iam at rock bottom,the worst place I've every been in my life and iam not sure which way is up anymore.

Due to high stress my marriage broke down completely leading my mental health to snowball which landed me being held in a mental institution on a section 2, 28 day hold. Upon release into a homeless shelter I made an attempt on my life leading back to hospital.

After another lengthy stay of which did not help my deep depression or mental health as there answer is just medicate to a point of numbness so I left there and have being sleeping rough for 3 weeks saying goodbye to every property I own to survive to a point where that ran out and I took my second attempt on my life. Ive being in hospital for a few weeks and have today being housed but being in an empty house doesn't change your mindset or depression and I haven't seen my daughter in 2 months.

Maybe this isn't the place to post this with our younger audience so Andrew you can delete this post if need be I just needed to write it down to get it out of my head and believe me I've written it on paper a hundred times over but it hasn't helped this site has always felt like home, a community and reminds me of happier times.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Kevin on Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:44 pm

mp3, I'm sorry that you're experiencing that man. Is there anyone in your family you can reach out to? If you want somebody to talk to, I'm down. Shoot me a PM for your Skype/discord/steam.
Rest In Peace Kobe
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Andrew on Wed Aug 08, 2018 10:10 pm

Really sorry to hear it man. If we can be a place to vent or just be a pleasant distraction while you figure everything out and take time for yourself, I'm glad that we can offer that and perhaps be a bright spot.

It's difficult to find words that don't sound like empty platitudes, but I hope you can find some help and that things get better, as hard a road as it may seem. I'm not sure how things work with the NHS over there in the UK, but if there are any free/affordable mental health services available to you, please look into them. As you said, that's a lot better than simply medicating and sedating. If there is anyone you can reach out to, please do that as well. It's so important to have a reliable support system, people who you can fall back on. If there's a support group or volunteer organisation that can step in there, I hope you can find them.

Basically, please keep fighting the Good Fight. Wishing you strength, resolve, and happy thoughts in this difficult time.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby shadowgrin on Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:03 am

Keep fighting man, you still need to see your girl grow up and have a dance with her on her wedding day.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby el badman on Sat Aug 11, 2018 12:24 pm

While my ordeal doesn't seem like it can even compare here, I feel like I know what you're going through mp3. I've been prone to depression for quite a few years, but after I got divorced the symptoms certainly reached a whole other level of scary. Being already my own worst enemy with deep self-loathing issues, ending up all of sudden completely alone in an essentially empty house, with all of my family and friends 6000 miles away, that just created this sense of complete loneliness that is hard to even describe.

While I didn't make an actual attempt (the suicide hotline was as far as I went), I certainly felt at that time that there was just no point in carrying on, and the thought of ending it all felt my only relief. But I found comfort and support in some unexpected places, with my ex-brother-in-law essentially saving me from my own demons and showing me that it is worth continuing in this life, and embracing new experiences. It sounds cliché and I won't pretend that it was a complete turnaround, as I am still prone to these having those feelings once in a while, but it was enough of a jumpstart to get me going again.

Since then, I have met someone else and I now have a 2.5 year-old boy. While life is not all rainbows and fucking unicorns every day, I can certainly confirm that keeping up the fight is very much worth it. I hope things will start looking that way for you too, I wish you the best.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby mp3 on Wed Aug 15, 2018 7:00 pm

Thank you for your inspiration words I appreciate them all, iam struggling but iam trying to focus on getting a job getting access to my daughter then getting my ps4 back and Live 19 hopefully by the new year,its just setting goals at this point.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Andrew on Wed Aug 15, 2018 9:20 pm

One step at a time, as they say. It always feels like a cliched thing to say, but it's the truth.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby mp3 on Wed Aug 15, 2018 10:02 pm

It is true mate, I know what your saying. It's rebuilding one day at a time.

I just hope Isiah Thomas isn't trading my draft picks along the way.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby [Q] on Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:22 am

I read something yesterday that really helped shift my mind a bit.

It was something about thinking that happiness lies in the future. In the next job, next relationship, etc. If you don't stop that way of thinking you will never have happiness in your current situation
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby el badman on Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:36 am

[Q] wrote:I read something yesterday that really helped shift my mind a bit.

It was something about thinking that happiness lies in the future. In the next job, next relationship, etc. If you don't stop that way of thinking you will never have happiness in your current situation

I guess that could depend on one's personality then, because for me the best thing to think about after reaching rock bottom was that I should enjoy the hell out of every little thing I did throughout the day, that I should enjoy and find meaning in every single moment.
But ultimately, I think it's in our very nature to attach more importance to the "want" than the "it" that we actually want, so as long as what lies in the future is not just some meaningless material possession for example, then I would agree that the thought of joy and comfort being up ahead can't hurt.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby [Q] on Fri Aug 17, 2018 9:45 am

Yeah I agree with you, you need to fucking enjoy yourself now. I always had the notion that oh maybe things will get better. A lot of times that was all I had, a thin string keeping me hanging on, keeping me from ending it all was the hope of a better life in the future. But if you can't imagine finding happiness in your current situation, you never will.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Kenny on Thu Aug 23, 2018 3:45 pm

So, this is my first entry for a while. I'm pretty much counting down the next two months because I'm going to be heading to America for the 4th time in October (first time without Obama). Fly into LAX on the 27th of October and I'll be flying out on the 23rd of November. This time, I might be heading up to Canada and checking out Vancouver.
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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby JaoSming on Thu Aug 23, 2018 4:04 pm

If you're driving by SF, let me know!
Opinions are my own.

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Re: Dear LiveJournal,

Postby Kenny on Fri Aug 24, 2018 4:00 pm

For sure. Plans are tentative at the moment, but I was thinking of dropping by around mid-November.
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