- It's not a real playoff game unless the losing team gets owned by Robert Horry.
- It's not a real Mavs game unless anyone gets more than 5 assists.
- It's not a real NBA draft unless someone mentions Sam Bowie, the Kandiman and Kwame Brown.
- It's not a real Basketball World Championship unless the USA forget how to play.
- It's not a real Charles Barkley quote unless there's a reference to Kenny Smith.