Shaq-ramento
Fantasy or nightmare?
It's a juicy subject, to be sure.
Shaq in Sac.
Shaq-ramento.
Long live Shaq and the Queens, with the Kings and the Diesel working together.
From ludicrous to compelling to happy to sad, reactions to the possibility run the gamut.
"It's outrageous to even think about, or to even really talk about, because I just don't see the Lakers trading him," Kings director of player personnel Jerry Reynolds said. "But ... anyone who's got a Kings jersey on is someone I like. Whoever has a Lakers jersey on, I don't like. That simple."
Grant Napear, the co-host with Mike Lamb of KHTK's Sportsline-1140 talk radio program, said the Shaq-to-Sac talk has the airwaves buzzing. Napear is convinced fans would suddenly like O'Neal, should he become a King. Napear postulates they would insist Shaq was a good guy after all, no offense taken from all of his shots at the Kings over the years.
"There's no way it's going to happen," Napear said. "But if it did, if Shaq had 30 points and 18 rebounds in his first game, there'd be 17,317 (people) who would be on their feet at Arco Arena giving him an ovation. That's exactly how sports fans are.
"The first time Shaq would say he loves this city and the fans and the Maloofs, the fans would melt. And if the Kings won a championship with Shaq, they'd erect a statue of Shaq right in front of the arena."
The same place they now hang him in effigy.
Even Napear, who as a fan bristles at Shaq's shenanigans as much as anyone, said that if O'Neal were "to average 28 (points) and 18 (rebounds) with the Kings, I'd get over it."
Kings guards Bobby Jackson and Doug Christie said the mere idea of their chief antagonist in their colors is difficult, but intriguing, to fathom.
"I'd take him any day," Jackson said. "Any team would. If it happened, he'd be a Sacramento Queen."
If it happened, it would likely be at the cost of either player, and a boatload of others, which doesn't particularly interest Christie.
"I would assume that there isn't a team in the NBA that hasn't considered the idea of getting Shaq," Christie said. "But it all depends on how much you'd have to give up. You don't want to tear up your whole team for one guy. I'm more in it for the team.
"Shaq's a very special talent, and there's not another Shaq out there, but Michael Jordan was the greatest of them all, and he showed that you need a team behind you to win."
Kings fans, too, had mixed reactions, whether they were playing pickup basketball games or shopping for office supplies.
Those who relish the role of hating and baiting the Lakers noted that, if Shaq left the club - already without coach Phil Jackson - there wouldn't be much left to heckle.
Others wondered how odd it would be to plead for a converted free throw from a player they're accustomed to hoping bricks one.
Some said Shaq would be an "embarrassment" if he came aboard, and others said it was "a no-brainer," particularly after catching word that O'Neal was overheard saying in Las Vegas recently that he wouldn't mind playing for the Kings.
Regina Birkholz is a 52-year-old Elk Grove homemaker who drives a black sedan with Kings stuffed animals inside and a license plate holder proclaiming her "the biggest Kings fan."
"I'd prefer not to have (Shaq)," she said. "I can't imagine how hard it would be to root for him. What he's said in the past, all those times he opened his big mouth, no thanks."
Timothy Loving, 48, who owns a janitorial service in Sacramento and is a regular street ball player on 10th and P, disagreed.
"You've got to accept a man like that," he said. "When he's playing against you, you're supposed to boo him. But if he joins your team, you're supposed to root for him. To me, (it's) a great compliment that he'd play here. Sacramento fans should accept him with open arms. If you don't understand that, you don't understand basketball."
Carole Pirruccello, 50, a health service employee, remembers that Shaq is Public Enemy No. 1. She says a Public Apology No. 1 would be needed if there were a deal.
"He has trash-talked us pretty bad, so he would have to repent for all the nasty things he's said," she said. "If he does come, I think Sacramento fans would accept him. But the public apology must come first."
A Lakers fan also had his say.
Albert Morris is a 44-year-old electrician in Sacramento. He's a longtime Lakers fan who wears a Shaq jersey to Kings games when his beloved team is in town.
"Shaq to the Kings? I'd kill myself," he said. "It would crush me. I hate the Kings as it is. If Shaq came to the Kings, I'd be full of hate. Hate the Kings even more and hate Shaq for the first time. I pray it doesn't happen."
And then there's the optimism of Kings fan Darrell Cutchlow: "It would be nice to pick up Kobe, too."
Laying the odds
You probably will not be seeing Shaquille O'Neal in a Kings uniform next season. In fact, the odds are probably 100-1. But what if he did come to Sacramento? It's fun to contemplate the ramifications. Here are the odds on the possible scenarios:
*Odds that Kings fans would suddenly start thinking O'Neal's body-jarring, teeth-loosening shoulder slams in the paint can't possibly be offensive fouls: 3-1
*Odds that O'Neal would buy Old Sacramento and open a theme park called Shaq-A-Palooza: 15-1
*Odds that O'Neal would flatten Kobe Bryant like a tasteless pancake when the Lakers came to town: 2-1
*Odds that O'Neal would pal around with Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, taking Sunday chopper rides in Natomas and brunching at the Radisson: 7-1
*Odds that the Kings would roar through the regular season and then suddenly take a nosedive when O'Neal injures his big toe the day before the playoffs: 12-1
*Odds that the Maloof brothers would ask O'Neal to pay for a new arena: Even
- Ron Wenig
Shaq's most painful insult
"I'm not worried about the Sacramento Queens. Write it down. Take a picture. They always talk the talk, but they never walk the walk. They had us right where they wanted us. But in Game 7 (of the 2002 Western Conference finals), Doug (Christie) couldn't make shots, Chris didn't want to shoot, Vlade (Divac) fouled out on purpose. I don't think they'll ever have what it takes."
- Shaquille O'Neal
October 2002
GOOD READ!