ESPN's Sports Guy take on the All-Star Weekend

Definitely worth a read... It's a good laugh...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/st ... ons/040224

Some bits...

Sure, we couldn't use all of my ideas. Maybe the "Head Case Legends Game" is too obscure. The "Posse Game" (Shaq's posse against Iverson's posse) could get someone shot.

(Imagine the introductions, as the announcer says things like, "In the final year of a seven-year deal that pays him $45.5 million ... from the Atlanta Hawks, Alan Henderson!" and "Unable to play tonight because of a bum knee, he's making $69 million over six years ... from the Boston Celtics, Raef LaFrentz!")

To avoid any more blowouts like the one this year (he's refering to the rookie/sophomore game), we have Danny Ainge sitting courtside. Any time one of the teams goes up by more than 15 points, Danny immediately starts trading its best players for LaFrentz, Jiri Welsch, Chris Mihm, Michael Stewart and Chucky Atkins (all sitting courtside, with Raef on crutches, of course).

Hand out an award for "Most Improbable Teammate Cheering On Another Teammate During the Three-Point Contest." This year's winner was Iverson, who was going bonkers for Kyle Korver under the little-known rule that "Every All-Star should show more emotion supporting teammates in dumb contests than they would during any regular season game." Do you think A.I. said two words to Kyle Korver all season?

Governor Schwarzenegger's cameo, when he spoke to the crowd and heroically attempted to shatter the Unintentional Comedy Scale as we know it. The mere sound of Arnold's voice provoked scattered giggles throughout the stadium, especially when he urged out-of-towners, "Welcome to Coddy-fornia!" and "We vant you to come hee-ah ober and ober ag-ane!"

When Ruben Studdard sang a Luther Vandross song a few minutes later, House joked, "How did Magic (Johnson) change clothes so fast?" That damn near killed me -- I almost spat my $20 beer all over the place.

... plus 10 good suggestions to get back the ASW back to the glory days...

Another great column by Bill Simmons.

I would LOVE to see the High Dunk...

Dunk Contest for shorty's...High Dunk for the...eh tally's?

Oh, I agree...no more Christina...