Need help with women?

[Laxation]

I'm currently trying to make up my mind between two girls right now. I've gone out with both of them during the last couple of weeks, but I'm still uncertain.

Whats wrong with both? Until they bring up that 'exclusive relationship' talk, its not cheating... Its just awesome

2. If you have been friends with a girl, but now realise you want more, bad luck... it aint gonna happen.

I hear this all the time, but it's not necessarily true. You can be friends initially, but there's always the possibility that a romantic relationship can occur afterwards.

Don't give it any hope... for every 1 story of it working out, there are hundreds upon thousands that dont. Its so much easier to just give up, than to try and be that one that did work out.
Trying so dam hard only pushes the girl away further...

When she says, "It'll all work out in the end," it's either: "he'll be happy with somebody else in the end" or "we'll finally have a relationship in the end."

I was thinking more: “I’m not attracted to you, but Ill say this to let you down easy.”

Last edited by Laxation on Mon Nov 27, 2006 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[hipn]

If you are dating, and want to break it up, just tell her that, but don't be too hard. If she has "a thing" for you, and there is no relationship, don't say anything, just act like a friend. Her feelings for you, if she has any, will wear off very quickly if you show no interest.

[Laxation]

I have a question for Mr. Laxation: How can I make my ex-girlfriend want me again?

Dude... get over it... You make girls want you by:
1. not being needy
2. not being obsessive
3. being your own man

Lately, you have been needy, obsessive, and probably doing whatever she wanted done. Go out and find someone new, wipe her out of your life (No Contact) and it will be so much easier.

Do you also think physical contact is important?

Yes. Damn yes.

Whats the best way to tell a girl your not interested but you still wanna be friends, like i can tell this chick has a thing for me but i just wanna be friends so i dont wanna damage that but i gotta put the idea out there that im not interested.

Don't say anything until she asks you out... you could be made to look like a total fool if you are wrong.
But if she does ask you out, say something like "Sorry, I just wanted to be friends"
Of course, saying that will only make her want you more... (you know, the old want-what-you-cant-have business)

[Laxation]

Heres an interesting list someone wrote...

Ladies For Dummies

1. Walk straight and look ahead. You can't see the woman if you're looking at the ground. No matter what anyone tells you, the first step to any successful relationship, lifelong or one night, is noticing that person exists. If you don't at least get that, the rest of this is useless. Not only that but it makes you appear bigger, is easier on the lower back and gives off an air of decent genes. The correct posture also helps the voice.

2. Find out who you are. If you're a sports guy, realize that and build on the strength, don't become a meathead but become knowledgeable about the subject area, not only in the stats category but also in how it relates to other areas (wrestling in developing speed, agility, weight control and hand to hand combat, rowing in teamwork and discipline, golf and baseball in hand eye coordination and patience etc) and thus is not always a total waste of time. If you are an athlete you're likely to get at least some looks. It also makes you easier to approach as the apparel is usually a conversation starter (the wrestling and rowing jackets have served me well) and usually being in a sports team means you get in shape which brings me to my next point.

3. Get in shape. You don't have to be huge or a 4 min mile runner but you need to get some muscles on ya. It also makes the sex a hell of a lot better too. You last longer, you can do it more often and she'll be likely to want to do it more often. And That's the goal, ain’t it? Make sure to stretch well too.. pulling a groin muscle sucks, and not being in shape means you most likely will pull, tear or **** yourself up doing certain things than if you have muscle surrounding the bone. You can't make up for lack of height but you can add muscle to the frame.

4. Watch the “Tao of Steve“ (2000).

5. If you get the girl's number, wrap up, and walk away. There is no sense in talking to her and perhaps saying something stupid. She's given you her number, so she's indicated she would like to talk to you again. Don't wear out your welcome or give her reason to change her mind.

6. Don't then go hit on another girl. You'll lose both. It's like the parable of the dog.

7. One of life's biggest truths is that success breeds success. Look at the programs in March Madness and in the major bowl games every year. They do well because they have a base to draw more recruits, which helps them win games, which draws more recruits that are high quality, which in turn...... Don't mention to a girl (who isn't your friend) how long it's been since you got laid or had a girlfriend, most likely this will cause her to think "there must be a reason". Ironically, you need to get laid in order to get laid. But you can't sleep around and you can't go after the easiest girl who sleeps or blows every guy and then go after a classy girl because the classy girl will feel you would be downgrading her if she went out with you. Be picky, but not too picky. Look around, but not too much. This may sound like I’m an ******* but let's have an experiment: you have two guys (identical twins, for this purpose) one is at a table with 4 girls and the other is at a table with 4 guys. The females will be more interested in the one that is surrounded by women, after all, he must be doin something right, no?

8. This leads to friendships. I've been in and out a lot of circles of friends, some circles consisting solely of people in school, others of car buddies, others of people I knew in the music scene, others in the club scene. Again, success breeds success. If you can't get your buddy to sober up, chances are the women will and they'll jet. It's not good to you or anyone else to surround yourself with dopeheads (i.e. kids that do meth and E and **** at parties) or massive alcoholics. Make sure your friends are like you and loyal. (You're loyal, aren't you?) That they aren't ginos or act like the guy who's pretty fly (for a white guy). That they're articulate, nice, and driven. Which leads to the next point…

9. Make sure you have dreams, goals and desires and are moving towards achieving these. This shows women that you are capable of something, that you are, well driven, and that you aren't lost and dazed / confused. The guy who sits around and gets stoned with his buddies all the time doesn't get as much booty as the guy who says I have to wake up and go to practice and then go to school and then to work. It also shows you are serious about something. There's nothing wrong with humor, everyone needs some, but you have to be able to say well, look I'm funny but this is something I'm not joking around about. Whether this is helping your team win the championship, or getting into a certain school, getting certain job, or getting a fitness goal, people will see you can form a balance.

10. Just like you shouldn't waste your time, don't waste your money. Being broke doesn't attract women unless you're going to make it big as a musician (right now you might have a job even it don't pay, you need new clothes and somewhere to stay) and wasting time and money just shows a woman that that's all you are and thus wouldn't regard her very highly. You can waste a bit of both, as does everyone but don't go out drinking every night or spending wads of cash in weed when you need to pay other bills.

11. If you are bent on improving yourself, women will notice and you'll find that more and more of them will be giving you looks or talking to you. Everyone wants to jump on a bandwagon and support something that, like a phoenix is rising from the ashes... not something that is on another losing streak (then you just can't get no satisfaction)

12. Read the newspapers. You don't have to be Tim Russet but showing you know what's going on in the world will help you a lot. Especially if the girl you like keeps up with the news. You have something to talk about and advantage over the people that don't. For instance, how last year, Harper changed public perception of him with this Afghanistan visit and no doubt won support from many voters and obviously the military.

13. You can either ignore the girl and make her chase you or like I like to do with my friends, make her feel important. The girls I keep in contact with know they're really great people and I try to show them in my oddball way that I think so, too. They seem to enjoy it. Make em smile, it works better than making them cry, cry, cry.

14. Make them feel comfortable. If they feel safe, they'll want to stick around. Remember, women are fans of security whereas guys are more prone for risk taking (to prove this, ask your peers how many are considering say a career in the military or something equally risky.) and therefore I doubt she'd be up for cliff diving.

15. Get some skills. Dancing, guitar, athletic, cooking, auto repair.. you have to make yourself different from everyone else out there. If not, then you must not be special, and you're special right?

16. Be Creative.

17. Find your style, if you can't be the literate guy talking about frost, Keats, Shelley, Woodsworth, etc then don't. If you're not able to do it naturally and you try to be forceful with it, it'll come across. Some guys can pull off the constant reference thing; others not so much. You may not be able to pull off the constant humour thing, like other people can. The best way to find all this out is to talk to people, get shot down and realize hell, it ain't the end of the world if a woman says no, and just have fun, you'll be more relaxed that way and this will come across. You might feel nervous and anxious, it may really count this time but try to be relaxed, there's more of a chance she'll say yes.

18. Learn how to massage. It is a very worthwhile skill. It will take you far.

19. Match the shoes and the belt. Polish your shines now and again as well.

20. Trim the nose and pubic hairs. This is very important.

21. Show interest in what she says and does. Definitely an important asset. If the girl is say, a political activist, this is where reading the newspaper and keeping up with the major news stories will pay off. If she's an athlete perhaps you can go see her play or you can talk about the sport etc etc.

22. If you think 20 other guys said the same thing you're about to say, then don't say it. Chances are she's heard it, you'll appear lame like them and she won't be impressed.

23. Win over her friends. If you piss her friends off, unless she's pissed off at them, she'll turn you down. Remember that women like being safe and their friends make them feel safe (otherwise they wouldn't be friends) so if the friends in dictate you aren't safe in some manner you ain't goin anywhere. If they indicate you are a worthy guy, you will be fine. Women may not say it a lot but they'll take into great consideration what you're like around her friends.

24. I don't enjoy spending countless hours with small children but show some skill with children and dogs. You don't have to be a dog walking elementary teacher but knowing how to handle them bodes well.

25. Even if you're a punk, you don’t have to spit at people, courtesy goes a long way.

26. Have confidence in who you are and what you do. Even if you feel parts of you need improvement, forget about that and realize you aren’t the total loser you perceive.

27. Your place doesn't have to be the cleanest but don't leave food out or dishes in the sink for days.. that just looks too sloppy and you want a classy lady, right? Make sure it's at least sanitary and have enough food to offer guests. Booze to offer is also a plus.

28. Don't drink Corona in the wintertime and don't drink ****ty American beer.

29. Of course you can Crash Weddings but follow the rules...

30. Learn another language well enough that you could function on your own for a weekend in Seville or Barca or Rome or Bogotá if you had to. This is useful.

31. Occasionally buy a girl who's standing behind you a coffee/pay for hers. Then walk away. Offer no explanation. If you frequent the place enough, the people working there will know you're a good guy. How does this help you get laid? Well, if a girl is checking you out or said they like you, they'll be inclined to relay that information and then following the steps set out above you may get it on.

32. Be nice to old people. It shows you've got a good character. Help them out when they need it etc. If you do this without being forced and you're spotted, women will see you have compassion. Again, this is important.

33. If you happen to like a girl dating someone else at the current moment, then let her know if she needs anything you're there and go out and have fun. Do your best at schoolwork, look for any deficiencies you may have and if she's soon single, she'll know you're single and working harder at your job, getting better hours, etc.

34. Floss. No one wants to see food stuck in your teeth, it's disgusting and a huge turn off. Floss after lunch, too.

35. Don't pick on someone way smaller than you. Then you look like a jerk and again, safety issues pop up. Besides, if you lose, then man do you look like a fool.

36. You know that trend of wearing really baggy clothing? Don't follow it. Clothing that is too big makes you appear smaller which makes you seem less powerful. Besides, the less fabric you buy, generally the lower the price of the clothing. Plus, if the clothing fits you can run faster and catch the bus/streetcar/subway.

37. Quit smoking (or at least regularly). You’ll be in better shape and won't smell as much. People who smoke really do taste like ashtrays to non smokers.

38. Chivalry, though somewhat lost in modern times, still goes a long way these days. Whether it's taking the floor or couch and letting the guest take the floor, taking the luggage for a girl… they appreciate it.

39. Stop and ask for directions if you are honestly lost. Trying to put on a brave face and pretend like you never get lost is simply foolish. Understanding your limitations show you aren't all powerful. You can try to be but from time to time we all need a helping hand.

40. Donate every now and then. Put a nickel into that thing that sends kids to camp, work an hour or two with a group for veterans or the disabled. Go out of your way to make someone’s day, even if you just met them. Stuff like that gets noticed and people'll help you out as mentioned previously and that can lead to some cool experiences. It’s called karma…

41. Drink a lot of water. This will make your eyes white instead of bloodshot which happens when they get dry. When your eyes are red as **** people think you're on something or your hungover. This tends to lead to a negative perception of you which may take a lot to overcome. Besides this, it's good for your skin so the bags under your eyes will lessen and you will look youthful, full of energy and of course the colour of your eyes stands out more.

42. If you see just one or two girls.. Don't walk up w/ 5 or 6 of your closest friends… It's all about security. you don't want to intimidate the women.

43. Get a good haircut. Failing that, buy a good baseball cap.

THE END

[j.23]

great thread laxation. i've been tempted to make one.. but you know.. didn't want to get flamed or anything, lol.

my ramble for the day:

MSN = friend zone

stay away from it, it's horrible. trust me, it'll get you nowhere. building rapport over the computer is such a bad idea. msn does not convey your personality (if you have one) and more often than not its the #1 reason why conversations can get boring. and if the conversations get boring, then she'll think you're boring. you get the idea. and jugs, tell your friend to fuck off and quit nagging her. his utter persistence will:

a.) make it seem like you have no balls to tell her how you truly feel
b.) make you seem needy, and girls hate that shit

just remember, you're the prize. whatever you do, don't do any favors for her, in fact let the opposite happen. she'll want validation from you and thats what keeps them coming back for more.


.. having said that, back to me, because i'm a selfish bastard.

i'm crazy for this chick. wow. i don't even remember how i started talking to her because she wasnt one of the chicks i originally had an eye for when i first started working. the last couple weeks she's been sending me text messages and what not, asking me what i'm doing and just being a tease. mind you, she's a pretty busy person and the fact that she can find time to talk to me is flattering. i was talking to her a couple nights ago and she mentioned something about her ex boyfriend cheating on her so she can't ever have the same level of trust for guys ever again, plus, she just doesnt want to be committed right now. i dont know if i believe her or not; i'm just curious as to why she would mention something like that to me and still want to get my attention all the time. anyways, i asked her to do something on wednesday and i'll probably tell her how i feel. i've talked to her on two separate occassions in the last week for 4 hours (both), which is dumb in my part because i could get friendZOWNED for that, but it was interesting to know what she was like. laxation, whats up pal. what do you think my plan of action should be?

[CMJ3]

I think its obvious why she told you about her ex and the trust factor, she wants to see how you would react and if she could trust you. If i were you i would just express my feelings cos it seems she likes you but it might backfire and she might not be ready etc.

[Jackal]

Whats wrong with both? Until they bring up that 'exclusive relationship' talk, its not cheating... Its just awesome

Lol, look at what I wrote. I have been seeing both of them during the last couple of weeks to make up my mind. Why make up my mind you say? Because I'm becoming fucking old, I can't keep up with it. Women are a handful, I can't balance school, work, family AND two women. As fun as it is, I've got to pick one already.

Thing with me is...I find the pursuit of women more fun than the relationship. I could end up going steady with one of them...and be head over heels for a friend of hers just because I know I'm already with girl A.

God that sounds bad.

[Laxation]

great thread laxation. i've been tempted to make one.. but you know.. didn't want to get flamed or anything, lol.

my ramble for the day:

MSN = friend zone

stay away from it, it's horrible. trust me, it'll get you nowhere. building rapport over the computer is such a bad idea. msn does not convey your personality (if you have one) and more often than not its the #1 reason why conversations can get boring. and if the conversations get boring, then she'll think you're boring. you get the idea. and jugs, tell your friend to fuck off and quit nagging her. his utter persistence will:

a.) make it seem like you have no balls to tell her how you truly feel
b.) make you seem needy, and girls hate that shit

just remember, you're the prize. whatever you do, don't do any favors for her, in fact let the opposite happen. she'll want validation from you and thats what keeps them coming back for more.

Nice stuff

i'm crazy for this chick. wow. i don't even remember how i started talking to her because she wasnt one of the chicks i originally had an eye for when i first started working. the last couple weeks she's been sending me text messages and what not, asking me what i'm doing and just being a tease. mind you, she's a pretty busy person and the fact that she can find time to talk to me is flattering. i was talking to her a couple nights ago and she mentioned something about her ex boyfriend cheating on her so she can't ever have the same level of trust for guys ever again, plus, she just doesnt want to be committed right now. i dont know if i believe her or not; i'm just curious as to why she would mention something like that to me and still want to get my attention all the time. anyways, i asked her to do something on wednesday and i'll probably tell her how i feel. i've talked to her on two separate occassions in the last week for 4 hours (both), which is dumb in my part because i could get friendZOWNED for that, but it was interesting to know what she was like. laxation, whats up pal. what do you think my plan of action should be?

If its possible, cut the section of your brain out that remembered this:

I think its obvious why she told you about her ex and the trust factor, she wants to see how you would react and if she could trust you. If i were you i would just express my feelings cos it seems she likes you but it might backfire and she might not be ready etc.

Never, ever, ever
NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES
tell a girl you like her.
this is for pre-relationship...

Once they know you like them, the chase is over. They have you. There is no challenge, and challenge is everything.


Anyway, back to it... Right now, it sounds like you are friendzoned. Badly. Being talked to about ex's, depression, 4 hour conversations - stuff like that - all reek of being her bestest friend. But hey, what do you have to lose... (your dignity, I know...)

Like I said with your last girl at work, ASK HER OUT! All this *does she like me? OMG she looked at me, she wants me!* can be wiped out by simply asking her, "hey, can you make it to coffee, wednesday after work at Starbucks outside?"
Note: Dont ask if she wants to go, see if she can make it, and have everything planned (time, date, place)

You will get one of three responses:
1. Yes (wants you)
2. No (doesnt want you)
3. No, but with a counteroffer for a date at a later time (wants you, but is busy already)

If #3, then make sure you set the time for the date. Dont let her do it.

So heres your plan of action:
- Ask her out
- Dont give her too much of your attention.
- Tease her (about what she is wearing, saying or doing)
- Dont be her therapist (she has other loser friends for that, right?)
- Dont talk to her for 4 hours... ugh...


BTW - friendzowned... awesome word

Last edited by Laxation on Mon Nov 27, 2006 1:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[Nick]

1. Almost every relationship question can be answered with
a] She just isnt that into you
b] He just isnt that into you

Watch Oprah much?

Not to take anything away from Laxation's advice, but it really is best to use your own judgement. Simply because you have to be there to understand fully what's going on. You can't fully portray the eye contact, tone of voice and body language when you ask advice from the internet of even one of your friends.

I remember about a year and a half ago i really dug this girl and i asked for advice from pretty much every friend i had basically. But most of the advice was assuming we knew each other really well and liked eachother and all that or something (i can't really remember these days), but they didn't really know the situation. So when i took the advice and actually used it i ended up seeming very obsessive because i messaged her too much etc, it was obvious i thought about her too much, but when i came back down to earth i realised it was just a fling and nothing more. (Damn she was hot though)

Anyway i think the best way to go these kinds of things is go in there (the battlefield of women ) with a certain state of mind. Don't remember rule #34 of the love book or crap like that. Just have a certain state of mind and you'll be fine.

I'm not expert but being playful initially is probably the best advice Laxation could give imo. It's amazing how well it works. One of my friends uses it to perfection. I dunno whether he does it on purpose or not but after he talks to a girl he has her hanging off him. In one night he might have made atleast 1 girl totally want to go for him. Sometimes 3.

It works well because not only are you portraying your sense of humour, but it's also easier for the girl to get comfortable around you because you're both just messing around.

j.23 - I don't think MSN is such a bad thing. You must've had a bad experience to go off, but i assure you they all don't turn out that way. I I met a girl about 3 or 4 weeks ago at a party and we really connected. I've been talking to her on MSN ever since and she wants me bad (you know when you can just tell. )

[j.23]

way to bust my balls laxation

to be honest, its pretty fucked. i dont know why girls out of nowhere seem they can confide in me with personal shit. anyways, during one of the conversations she told me she went all out with another girl once, and i told her afterwards i was seeing her in a different light. (i was joking, but she didnt know) i was like, oh hell no .. you're one of those girls? the next half an hour she was trying to get me to validate her once again but i gave her none of it.

its not like im trying to play therapist, its just one thing led to another. if i do get friendzowned, that'll be the end of it. period. i'm sick of that stupid ass shit. i think i should be okay though, i did ask her to do something on wednesday. i guess i never mentioned how i am around her, but i don't dish out complements whatsoever. i do tease what she wears sometimes and some of her idiosyncrasies. so anyways, would it be a bad idea to tell her how i feel if and when we do go out?

[j.23]

j.23 - I don't think MSN is such a bad thing. You must've had a bad experience to go off, but i assure you they all don't turn out that way. I I met a girl about 3 or 4 weeks ago at a party and we really connected. I've been talking to her on MSN ever since and she wants me bad (you know when you can just tell. )

i guess it's subjective, but yes i did have a bad experience, and so have a couple of my friends. so how goes it, are you going to meet up with her?

[Laxation]

1. Almost every relationship question can be answered with
a] She just isnt that into you
b] He just isnt that into you

Watch Oprah much?

Never... is it from Oprah? I read it somewhere on the internet... It appears to be true though
I guess if it is from Oprah is explains wtf Jackal was on about...

I remember about a year and a half ago i really dug this girl and i asked for advice from pretty much every friend i had basically. But most of the advice was assuming we knew each other really well and liked eachother and all that or something

Don't let that shitty advice turn you off... The advice they gave is obviously wrong, I can tell just by what you wrote...

Anyway i think the best way to go these kinds of things is go in there (the battlefield of women ) with a certain state of mind. Don't remember rule #34 of the love book or crap like that. Just have a certain state of mind and you'll be fine.

Like I said before, Attitude and Confidence is 90% of what you need

I'm not expert but being playful initially is probably the best advice Laxation could give imo. It's amazing how well it works. One of my friends uses it to perfection. I dunno whether he does it on purpose or not but after he talks to a girl he has her hanging off him. In one night he might have made atleast 1 girl totally want to go for him. Sometimes 3.

I think Ive said this once or twice before too... TEASE girls! Tease them about what theyre wearing, doing or saying. It separates you from all the other guys trying to pick them up, as well as makes you appear better than the girls.

My favourite way to tease a girl, is if theyre wearing a red and white dress. Walk up to them, and whisper in their ear *seriously*, "I have to ask you a question."
When they turn around, *you have to stay serious*, "Wheres Wally?"
I've only tried this twice (only ever seen red and white dresses twice) but it so far has a 100% success rate

j.23 - I don't think MSN is such a bad thing. You must've had a bad experience to go off, but i assure you they all don't turn out that way. I I met a girl about 3 or 4 weeks ago at a party and we really connected. I've been talking to her on MSN ever since and she wants me bad (you know when you can just tell. )

Ask her out... find out if your instincts are right or not.

[Nick]

NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES
tell a girl you like her.[/size]
this is for pre-relationship...

Once they know you like them, the chase is over. They have you. There is no challenge, and challenge is everything.

What a load of crap. The challenge is not everything to some girls. You can't really generalise every girl to having the same personality. You're right, some girls do want the challege. That could be 1 in 5. Every girl has a different personality.

Some girls would rather a guy to just be honest with them.

That's why you need to take girl advice with a grain of salt. It's one massive generalisation and doesn't apply to every situation. Whoever writes it is 9 times out of 10 going of their experience or experiences, and every girl is different.

[Laxation]

during one of the conversations she told me she went all out with another girl once

Umm... go on...

i told her afterwards i was seeing her in a different light. (i was joking, but she didnt know) i was like, oh hell no .. you're one of those girls? the next half an hour she was trying to get me to validate her once again but i gave her none of it.

perfect thats what you should keep doing

its not like im trying to play therapist, its just one thing led to another

No one tries to be a therapist, it just happens... and before you know it *BAM* youre sleeping with your hand again... -.-

i did ask her to do something on wednesday. i guess i never mentioned how i am around her, but i don't dish out complements whatsoever. i do tease what she wears sometimes and some of her idiosyncrasies. so anyways, would it be a bad idea to tell her how i feel if and when we do go out?

Good stuff asking her out where are you going?
Don't tell her how you feel... until you have been on 10 dates, do not tell her how you feel.
I know during conversation, the right time might come up to say it, but please... dont... (I'm teaching from experience here)

[cyanide]

I was thinking more: “I’m not attracted to you, but Ill say this to let you down easy.”

Yep, which is basically what I said, "he'll be happy with somebody else in the end."

Don't give it any hope... for every 1 story of it working out, there are hundreds upon thousands that dont. Its so much easier to just give up, than to try and be that one that did work out.
Trying so dam hard only pushes the girl away further...

I didn't mean trying hard. If there are two people that are friends, whether they are purely friends, they may grow to like each other. Another case could be if one person likes the other but the other doesn't reciprocate, which is common, the trying too hard factor is a no-no, but there's that chance the other will reciprocate over time provided that they are still close friends.

There are none. Stop looking for it. Stop trying to find one.
To get over her, stop talking to her completely and wipe her out of your life. It helps, ALOT
This is called NC – short for No Contact, and helps to get through break-ups, or to get over that huge crush.

I have to agree with this completely. For the sake of one's mental and emotional health, stay away from a broken relationship.

[Laxation]

NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES
tell a girl you like her.[/size]
this is for pre-relationship...

Once they know you like them, the chase is over. They have you. There is no challenge, and challenge is everything.

What a load of crap. The challenge is not everything to some girls. You can't really generalise every girl to having the same personality. You're right, some girls do want the challege. That could be 1 in 5. Every girl has a different personality.

Some girls would rather a guy to just be honest with them.

That's why you need to take girl advice with a grain of salt. It's one massive generalisation and doesn't apply to every situation. Whoever writes it is 9 times out of 10 going of their experience or experiences, and every girl is different.

Ok then...

go to a shopping centre and ask every girl there - if they would rather a challenge, or some needy loser telling them how he feels.

IN FACT, one of my friends (a girl) told me this (her exact words btw)
" 'You want me but you cant have me', fuck that is hot"

Your generalisation is worse than mine, because at least mine is true...

[Chris_23]

So this is where I come in. I would view myself pretty dam good on the theory of picking up, and women in general, and am progressing heaps in the field. I learnt the hard way, and may as well share my knowledge so you guys don't have to as well.

Yeah good start for the thread. The 'I am better than thou' attitude sure works here Quite an arrogant opening but I was willing to read on, being in a good long term relationship and having studied psychology.

1. Almost every relationship question can be answered with
a] She just isnt that into you
b] He just isnt that into you

lol, as Nick already said I also had the feeling you're trying to pull a male Oprah here. No, almost every relationship question cannot be answered with just those two choices. Relationships just are not that black and white.

2. If you have been friends with a girl, but now realise you want more, bad luck... it aint gonna happen.
- Girls, once they are friends with a guy, will never change - and will never want more. (sure, you know this one guy who ended up marrying his friend of 3 years, and sure, it happens in all the movies - but never in real life).
- Guys, however, prefer to profess their friendship with a girl by slamming her into their mattress...

??

Never say never. How do you expect to help anyone here with that attitude? It is in fact the relationships rooted in friendship are the ones that last-for-life. The only time it will never change is when a guy (or a girl in fact) realizes that he/she wants more, displays it and gets a reply along the lines of 'let's just be friends'. Then it's a near-no-go, but before that has become clear, everything is possible. If in doubt, ask the girl, or do something not very friend-like.

3. You can only be helped if you are READY and willing to listen
This isn't a shot at your ability to concentrate, but sometimes, what you hear sucks ass, and no matter how many times you hear it, it won't make any sense at all until you've wasted 6 months of your life on it. Trust me, or ask Fitzy if you don't believe me...

That is so true

4. MSN sucks ass... dont talk to women on there

Again, not entirely true. It depends on the context really. If you know a person for who she is (I mean, really know, like a friend of a friend or something) but have not met her in real life yet, then it's always an option. But while you can begin it through instant messaging, never keep at it for long and try to bring whatever it is into real life through phonecalls and meetings. Virtual screen may otherwise root in too much.

5.
Never, ever, ever
NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES
tell a girl you like her.

Yeah, tell her you want to frack her and have many babies instead

Of course tell her you like her. Tell her anything positive that can be taken as a compliment. 'I like you' is especially good since it emphasizes that -you- like her, it's a show of directed interest. While there are better compliments to begin with (and I know quite well how different is the get-going process in a nightclub compared to university grounds or highschool), it is definetly not a wrong one as long as she gets the context.

Girls usually like things slower than men, and as long as 'like' comes before 'love' they are fine with it.

[bigh0rt]

NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES
tell a girl you like her.[/size]
this is for pre-relationship...

Once they know you like them, the chase is over. They have you. There is no challenge, and challenge is everything.

What a load of crap. The challenge is not everything to some girls. You can't really generalise every girl to having the same personality. You're right, some girls do want the challege. That could be 1 in 5. Every girl has a different personality.

Some girls would rather a guy to just be honest with them.

That's why you need to take girl advice with a grain of salt. It's one massive generalisation and doesn't apply to every situation. Whoever writes it is 9 times out of 10 going of their experience or experiences, and every girl is different.

Ok then...

go to a shopping centre and ask every girl there - if they would rather a challenge, or some needy loser telling them how he feels.

IN FACT, one of my friends (a girl) told me this (her exact words btw)
" 'You want me but you cant have me', fuck that is hot"

Your generalisation is worse than mine, because at least mine is true...

His generalization that every girl is not the same is worse than yours which claims they are??

I find that interesting...

[j.23]

during one of the conversations she told me she went all out with another girl once
Umm... go on...

this girl is smart as hell, good grades in school ..

and she ate out/got ate out by another chick. that's hot, but i made her feel like a slut. YEAH!

[Nick]

This has to be the fastest growing thread ever hey I can't keep up.

Don't let that shitty advice turn you off... The advice they gave is obviously wrong, I can tell just by what you wrote...

Yeah, it was clearly wrong. That's obvious. It was my fault for taking the advice too seriously. But you know what it's like, your peers have a strong influence on ya. "Just message her dude"... "you're right. hey what u reckon about this message".

Although a few weeks ago she invited me to a rock concert. What u reckon about THAT? I went too. It was me, her, her friend, and her friend's boyfriend. It was pretty out of the blue. Because like i said, when i hooked up with her was a long time ago. May 2005 or so. But it's obvious she's thinking about me. Which is a little strange really. But whatever. The only problem was, when i went i wasn't my normal cheerful self because i was hell tired. I didn't reel her in like i would've liked because i wasnt all that talkative and mr funny. But meh, i got a few good lines in there.

i guess it's subjective, but yes i did have a bad experience, and so have a couple of my friends. so how goes it, are you going to meet up with her?

Yeah, this Tuesday i told her she should come to Ruby's (local waterhole. bar/lounge place. We go there every tuesday for open mic night), and she said she'll be there. She pretty much goes whever i tell her lol. About 3 or 4 weeks ago i told her to come to this club in the city, and she came haha. She didn't get in because her friend's fake ID didn't work, but the thought was there. And they were ringing me constantly afterwards to go to where they were.

I I met a girl about 3 or 4 weeks ago at a party

By the way, i got my dates wrong. It was AFL grand final day which was actually 2 months ago. For some reason i thought september was last month. Der.

So yeah, i've pretty much got her where i want her. It's just a matter of deciding if i want to go for it or not/stop being such a passive damn pussy.

So yeah, MSN has been a great way to continue keeping on her mind. But it will only last so long, which is why it should be good to talk to her in person again this tuesday.

My favourite way to tease a girl, is if theyre wearing a red and white dress. Walk up to them, and whisper in their ear *seriously*, "I have to ask you a question."
When they turn around, *you have to stay serious*, "Wheres Wally?"

Hehehehe.

btw: expect an edit soon. like 4 posts popped up while writing this.

[Laxation]

Yeah good start for the thread. The 'I am better than thou' attitude sure works here

Sorry, maybe I should start it with "I have no fucking clue what Im talking about"

Or then again, maybe you should have?

lol, as Nick already said I also had the feeling you're trying to pull a male Oprah here. No, almost every relationship question cannot be answered with just those two choices. Relationships just are not that black and white.

Well Ive never seen Oprah, ever... so I have no fucking idea what you are on about.

4. MSN sucks ass... dont talk to women on there

Again, not entirely true.

Fixed that to make it clearer


All in all, please... do not listen to Chris...

If you want to stay the friendzowned, stay sitting at home alone on weekends feeling empty, depressed and lonely. If you want to sit at the computer for hours waiting for her to sign in. If you want to hear about her problems with her BF, then by all means... stay her friend, tell her how you feel.


This is the first and last time I'm going to defend myself to useless shits like this... I used to be like this (the prototypical nice-guy, the friend) and have done enough to change that.
Im prepared to help others bypass that whole *niceguy* stage, or get out of it altogether, and I this bullshit doesnt help.

His generalization that every girl is not the same is worse than yours which claims they are??

His generalisation was that 'girls generally dont like a challenge'
Of course girls are different...

[Chris_23]

The thing is, people who are struggling with girls do NOT need advice from obnoxious alpha males like you. You are saying the right thing but entirely the wrong way, and entirely in black and white. Which means, simply, that while you can be a success at what you do, that doesn't automatically make you one who's actually able to help other people reach the success. Dennis Rodman will not start coaching in the NBA. Being good at it does not automatically make you a guru.

People in trouble do not need the things you can grab off from any google search relating to 'how to pick up girls' or something along those lines. If this thread is your idea of a mockery, then sure its fun and all good of course

Last edited by Chris_23 on Mon Nov 27, 2006 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[Laxation]

obnoxious alpha males

women love obnoxious alpha males

Last edited by Laxation on Mon Nov 27, 2006 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[bigh0rt]

What a load of crap. The challenge is not everything to some girls. You can't really generalise every girl to having the same personality. You're right, some girls do want the challege. That could be 1 in 5. Every girl has a different personality.

Some girls would rather a guy to just be honest with them.

That's why you need to take girl advice with a grain of salt. It's one massive generalisation and doesn't apply to every situation. Whoever writes it is 9 times out of 10 going of their experience or experiences, and every girl is different.

Doesn't look like anything is generalized, there. He's just saying "take it down a notch -- every girl is different. What you're saying isn't necessarily true in every situation." to which you are saying, "Yes it is."

I do agree with most of what you are saying, however, about not being a slug and sitting home, watching time tick before she graces you by logging into instant messenger, so you can listen to you tell her about how mad she is about the guy who's load she took like the champ the night before.

Confidence is the key. If you're not confident (See: faking it will eventually show) in yourself, you've got to deal with those issues before you can think about seriously going after women.

[Laxation]

Doesn't look like anything is generalized, there. He's just saying "take it down a notch -- every girl is different. What you're saying isn't necessarily true in every situation." to which you are saying, "Yes it is."

Well he is saying 1-in-5 want a challenge... doesnt sound like a generalisation anymore, now I read it again, but you know what I mean?
If anything, 9-in-10 women want a challenge...

Let me rephrase again...
HOT women want a challenge

Confidence is the key.