Controversial Clippers ::Proof kobe was 2nd rounder/story::

[The_Flying_Tomato]

A tale of how CJ Patterson took over the Los Angeles Clippers, turning them from crap into a real contender. We start at the 05-06 dynasty. The Clippers recently appointed Isiah Thomas is due up for the NBA Fantasy Draft. How will he do? Will this mentally retarted imbecile screw up the Clippers? Find out on the next chapter of Controversial Clippers.

29 game season.
Will Isiah continue his rampage of stupidity in LA? Find out.

[Jing]

wow... well good luck.

are you on like pc or ps2? i am gonna guess ps2.

[Anthony15]

Good luck

FUCK LA CLIPPERS

[rongotai]

What happened to your Houston one

[The_Flying_Tomato]

yeh, I'm on ps2...

But it's funny. I was gonna do the rockets one, but i got into the season and was going to start over, but I got this idea. To make a horrible team, then act like the GM got fired after season 1, and I come in season 2 to turn it around 180 degrees (as Jason Kidd would say, 360 degrees). And I wanted to have some controversial players(i was gonna draft artest but he got taken by the wizards 1st round...) and make up story lines(which i will). And so I wanted to make the name catchy and since they were 'controversial' i was going to go with the Cavs or Clippers. I figured more people were doing Cavs dynasties so I chose LAC. I don't really like the Clippers myself either, Anthony15. :p

[The_Flying_Tomato]

(AP)- The National Basketball Association has announced the order for it's All-in Fantasy Draft. Here are the first twelve picks.


"Oh hell yeah!" Isiah Thomas shouted. "I should draft Allen Iverson! Or maybe Steve Francis. Or I could get the steal of the draft and get Marbury."
"The only reason you would be able to get marbury and francis would be because they suck," said his not-so-stupid Assistant GM, Billy Bonkers. "Nobody in their right mind would draft those numb nuts. Allen, maybe, but he'll go top 3, probably. There are some pretty stupid GMs, I'm just glad you're not one of them," Bonkers said with icy sarcasm.
"I know, I'm a god damn genius."

Draft Night- "Ok, here's my plan, Isiah. You let me tell them who to draft, and you sit back and shut the hell up, because you're a moron." That's what Billy Bonkers would have like to have said, but... "All GMs, and GMs ONLY, step into your respective draft rooms."
"Wait, why can't I go in? You know Isiah's gonna screw it up somehow, you gotta let me in."
"Don't ask me, man, I don't make the rules."

Bonkers watched as Iverson was taken 3rd overall. "I'm sure Isiah's going mad, and shouting at the TV."
"GOD DAMN IT, NOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Isiah Thomas at his television set.
"Well, Lebron's still on the board, so is Shawn Marion, he better draft one of them... don't screw this up, Isiah, for the love of God."
"With the fifth pick of the NBA Draft, the Los Angeles Clippers select..." David Stern paused, dumbfounded at Thomas' stupidity. "... select..." "Jesus Christ, if Stern's hesitant, Isiah must have fricked it up. I quit," said Bonkers.

[Matthew]

Billy Bonkers? Wtf, your the epitome of a dumbcunt

[The_Flying_Tomato]

I dunno, I just kinda made up a name. He'll quit soon anyway, don't worry

[Donatello]

Billy Bonkers? Wtf, your the epitome of a dumbcunt

Bwaahahahahahaha. <falls down from laughing> Ouch.

[The_Flying_Tomato]

Draft Results

CJ Patterson, who had been neck-and-neck for the Clipper GM job, watched the draft from his television. "The Los Angeles Clippers select..." A name was announced. Patterson fell on the floor and started crying. "God damn it, I MUST be a horrible GM, they chose a mentally retarted person over me, and I've never even GMed before."
With the fifth pick, the Clippers had selected Rasheed Wallace, the trash talking pot smoking foo who would almost guaranteedly make the Clippers #1 at techs this season. As the draft went on, Thomas made some potentially great picks(Kobe pick 5 of second round), and some not so good ones.

At the end of the day, the draft results were:

Pape Sow, Luke Jackson, Tierre Brown not shown

After Stern announced the contracts would stay, here was the roster situation.


Bonkers couldn't believe it! They were only 5.95 mil over cap!!!! Isiah hadn't completely screwed up. A major problem was the players however... Kobe would demand the ball, Josh and Darius would likely slack off, Kapono has always been a piece of shit, even though an idiot once hit 280 of 300 3 pointers with him in their dream. Sheed would tech his way to the top, James would almost guaranteedly throw up brick after brick, and Sprewell would demand money for his family. Damon Jones, Luke Jackson, Tierre Brown, and Pape Sow seemed to be the only ones who wouldn't cause a problem. Neither would Ratliff, but for 11+ mil, he shouldn't either.

Patterson had a feeling Isiah's regime wouldn't last long. He starting thinking of ways to improve the team. He would get Isiah's dumb ass fired if it was the last thing he did.

Next: Hiring of Assistant Coaches

[Blasphemy]

Good roster, but very unrelistic

[Mark.]

Yeah that team is stacked

[Nick]

If you drafted Sheed in the first round, how did you get Kobe Bryant?

And this would've been more interesting if the team was in a really fucked cap position, so that next year is more of a challenge to get yourself out of trouble. Well, from an entertainment standpoint anyway, I would've been more interested to see that .

[Anthony15]

Stack'd!!! Quite a roster u got der!

[The_Flying_Tomato]

kobe stayed and wasn't drafted until i got to him 2nd round. I was shocked. I thought I was gonna get Artest, but Kobe was there and Ron wasnt. That's exactly how I drafted it

Sheed
Kobe
J Smoove
Miles
Ratliff
Spree
James
Jones
Jackson
Kapono
Brown
Sow

But yeah, the rosters won't stay like this for long. Isiah will realize that he's got a good team, and when Isiah realizes he's got something good, he's gonna destroy it.

[Axel]

are you joking me? Kobe is always one of the first 5 or so drafted.

[The_Flying_Tomato]

i kid you not. i was amazed as heck when he was available.

[Jackal]

I think you picked Bryant first, then Wallace and for the sake of keeping the story interesting, made that bullshit up. How's that sound? Like the truth? Yeah.

[Buckley]

I think you picked Bryant first, then Wallace and for the sake of keeping the story interesting, made that bullshit up. How's that sound? Like the truth? Yeah.

Jackal is probably right, but I once got LeBron in the third round (Live 05). Then again, it was default rosters that had his 84 OVR rating.

[Cornerthree]

Realism=0, but I still like the roster

[The_Flying_Tomato]

Don't worry, Isiah will dismantle it...


CLIPPERS COACHES:




While the e-mails were mostly hate, there were those who loved Isiah for having a potentially awesome team. The Kobe lovers were going mad. Kobe announced that after the first game, he would switch to number 24, because he is a dipshit. Isiah naturally supported this, because he is a bigger dipshit. The Clippers went through training camp, naturally, learning nothing.

"Isiah! Are you friggin nuts!!!????" Billy Bonkers screamed over the intercom. "Keep it down man, I'm finding my zen." "What, you're smoking pot again?" "SHUT THE F- er.. um... what do you want?" "How could you hire those coaches? And 1 year deals?" "Well, I'm saving money, see? It will work out in the end, I trust Mike Dunleavy." "God you're dumb, why haven't I quit." "Because I gave you a hella good contract, that's why."

CJ Patterson, who had not left the Staples Center until they agreed to let him in on all the inside news some months ago, was livid when he learned of the signings of the coaches. "What is he trying to do? No coach, no trainer, no scout???? Now when I become GM next year, which I most certainly will, I won't know who to draft, my players will be injured, and they'll be playing like shit. God damn you, Isiah."

Kobe Bryant, who had elected himself team leader, agreed with Dunleavy and Bonkers. Isiah was terrible. Unfortunately, douche bags like Kapono(who, in fact, did NOT hit 280 3pts of 300, even in his career, because he's shit) sided with Isiah, saying it'll work out. Kapono became the "asshole who thinks he is all that" on the team. He became Isiah's favorite player, which sucked. Eventually the team split into a rift, about a week before the first game. It went like this:

For Isiah
Jason Kapono
Sheed(rumored that he and Isiah smoke blunts together)
Spree(apparantly, he's convinced Isiah will give him a 'family feeding' worthy contract.
Mike James(he's a piece of shit)
Sow(he doesn't really give a shit, actually...)
Luke Jackson(never really liked him... and he sucks)

Against the dumb ass
Kobe
Brown(my boy!)
J Smoove
Miles
Ratliff
Jones(Damon likes his style, but Isiah hates it)

Naturally, you can see the problem. But anyway, time faded and November was nigh. "Time to shut the fuck up and play," as Dunleavy put it. "Can't we all just get along?"said Sheed, who seemed to be high every day. "Shut up you dumb turkey." It was Brown. Tierre was pissed off, he knew he had potential to be a good backup PG, but Isiah made sure Dunleavy didn't play him.

First Month's Schedule
First up is Duncan and the Pistons. Ironic, eh?


Next: Game 1 and stuff

[Cornerthree]

WOW against the Pistons, good luck

That's their lineup?

[The_Flying_Tomato]

um, i can't remember their lineup except duncan is on it i probably won't be able to get back to my game till like monday tho(2 days from now) since i have work

[JohnA20]

AHAHA, this is great, I can't believe Kobe was 5th pick, in the 2nd round, but I'll go along with it because it's funny. Good luck with your dynasty.

[The X]

wtf?!? I don't know whether to laugh or cry