by rise on Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:05 pm
The song begins slow, but quickly, a heavy metal drum intro is heard, followed by a verse that bears striking resemblance to the verses in Rage Against The Machine's "Testify". These lines are by Adam Morrison half-rapping, half-yells into the mic.
Alright guys, here's a little something that will blow your mind
Something so sweet it wasn't revealed to mankind
Then we mixed rock, metal, pop, rap, and punk
Then released this piece of shit junk
We had to think up a name for our lyrical battle
So we mixed rap and metal and we created "rattle"
We wouldn't've released it if it was shit
so we worked on it just a little tiny bit
Just three months, yeah bitch, that is all
And we decided to name it Burnin' Basketballz
I dominate and rip apart the best of the best
And then go around annihilating the rest
I dunk the ball with power and grace
And then drain a three in Ray Allen's face
I used to be better, better than i am now
I tore up college basketball, well anyhow,
My knee got fucked but I don't fuckin' care
Cause I've still got awesome upper lip hair
Whatever I know is what I am not
It's a difficult concept with which i have fought
With a bong and a thong, nothing can go wrong
But we'll move on, beat the gong, and enjoy the song
I won a couple rings but I'm still on the hunt
Yet I'm not afraid to call Kobe a cunt
Suck on that, you know I'm better than that
Now its time for me to end my drunken rant.
After a quick pause, the song changes rather drastically and sounds like it could have come straight off of an early Linkin Park album. Haislip's voice contrasts sharply with Morrison's. Haislip's voice is very low: almost like Hollywood Undead's Charlie Scene.
Lemme tell y'all a little bit about myself
A guy about three times the size of an elf
I can't really think up good rhymes, this shit's what I came up with
Here's another one! I've posterized JR Smith
People know me, no matter what they say
"who the fuck is Marcus Haislip?", well, anyway
A guy who plays with heart from the opening tip
Here I am. Marcus Fucking Haislip
I've been everywhere, done all that,
Even backed down that fat bitch ass Shaq
If you don't believe what I just said
Well ya know what boy? Its on your head
I can go to casinos every other night
And hookin' up with hos is my very own right
I know what I did and not guilty I plead
Whatever, I don't care, my contract's guaranteed.
This ends abruptly, and out of nowhere, a loud, squealing guitar solo, played by Adam Morrison, dominates the speakers, Bonzi Wells' angry voice is heard: "Hey, hey, bro, I fuckin' told you I'm going Acapella." The guitar stops, and Bonzi Wells begins.
I've been everywhere and then I've been to the Heat
Long enough to know that Lebron can't three-peat
He's at the top of his game but his Decisions are weak
I'm an NBA baller not an athletic freak
I can hit my shots, perimeter and beyond
I'm not Dennis Rodman. I won't go blond
I've got better things to do like Dominate
Fuck you LeBron, how my ass taste
At 36 I'll can still go on strong
Hell, I could even bang Lebron's mom
Or kick Bosh's ass with a three point shot
You soft motherfucker, is that all you got?
Well I'm done giving Miami a roast
It's time to give my new team a toast
Why? Cause toast is good, but waffles are better
Waffles burn to the end of my lyrical letter.
Marcus Haislip yells, "YEAH! That was awesome!" and is quickly shushed by, (according to Walter Herrmann) Adam Morrison kneeing Haislip in the nuts.
The part between these two verses is quiet and lasts approximately a minute. Suddenly a very fast hard rock guitar riff is heard, followed by August Burns Red -type screams performed by Eric Rivers. This whole section basically plays like a cross between August Burns Red and older Avenged Sevenfold, which makes Zee Otoo intently listen (and headbang in the process).
At five foot six I'm not your typical baller
Even as a point guard I wish i was taller
But I give it all I got to put up some points
So I can feed my family and visit burrito joints
If your mind blows up at this verbal sequence
I'm not to blame for your eternal silence
But I've got a way with words like nobody else
But no one, I repeat no one, is better than Bonzi Wells.
Just ask Lebron, he was fucking stupefied
Just like usual, scrambling up his fucking stupid mind
I'm a better point guard, that doesn't say a ton
Bitch, you can call me back when I am number one
I can waste my life playing Halo or Live
And can get away with it cause I'm not 7'5
Suck on it, giant mutant freaky things
My legs won't disintegrate like Oden or Yao Ming's
So apparently I seem to get an extra verse
I've gotta think outside the universe
I'ts pointless, introducing our final singer
Walter Herrmann, up next, is given the finger.
A guitar-only bridge leads nicely into a heavily-synthesized rhythm, were Ealter Herrmann starts rapping. His Spanish accent clashes awfully with his attempt to sound like Marcus Haislip but he did an OK job imitating Haislip.
Walter Herrmann, forward, six foot nine
Call me Walter, that's perfectly fine
I speak little English, so I decided to mime
Yet I've spoken all English while spitting this rhyme
I don't have much to say but here's what I've got
When I'm hot it raid threes and mid range jump shots
Because everyone can use a cool shower
Except when there's a loss of electrical power
Tearing up the hardwood, we ain't playing no games
It's all part of the business despite all these flames
Cause at the end of the day this is all we do
Except writing this song and more, just for you
Kick back and enjoy intricate drum solos
Performed by me while wearing a polo
After that, Ammo tells me a guitar solo calls
But Bonzi's busy Burnin' BASKETBALLS.
After this, there is a quick guitar bridge for the length of time it takes Walter to go from the microphone to behind the drum kit. As soon as he reaches, he's pounding away a very complex drum solo, which is followed by a metalcore drum pattern and a guitar solo for the ages performed by Adam Morrison. The song fades out after about a minute of this.
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Later that night, Zee Otoo, went up to the band, and said, "You guys are all on the team, including you Marcus. Just promise me two things: 1) another kickass song and 2) NEVER SKIP PRACTICE AGAIN."