help! how to play NORMAL game in multiplayer?

[neuro]

i've played about 15 games by internet with my friend. after 2 games we've used the patch from Hoopscitylive or something. game was better, but still, it was totally unrealistic. let me describe gameplay a little bit.

me and my friend want to play like in real NBA. postup and kickout to shot trey, medium jumper, some strategy, pick&roll. we don't want to play like "press turbo and shot near the basket". we've played some games like this and it was awful, absolutly no fun. iverson was effective only if he was driving to the hoop, jumpshot was bad choice ALWAYS. TMac, Pierce also. postup was ALWAYS good. pass the rock to Todd McCulloch and he always did a layup or dunk, can't stop this guy! defenders has no chance of stoping ANYONE who is near the basket.
my point is, that if you want to play realistic, you'll find yourself driving to the hoop like madman in 3rd qr., beacause it CAN'T be stopped and other ways to make some points are USELESS. so if i wanted to play realistic, i would lose by 30 points... NOT FUN AT ALL.

i don't want to temper myself to play realistic gameplay, i want the game to temper me. i want defenders to make stops when little guy is making his 15th drive to hoop, even if he's called Iverson. i want defending team to stop post up player, i mean f**** Todd McCulloch, not Shaq!

so, my question:

is there any patch that is making game more balanced? my wishlist:

1) defender can ACTUALLY defend. maybe patch that increase def. awarness will help?
2) big guy who is big white stiff cannot shot 9/11FG, while one of unconnected shots is trey from midcourt. he can shot 7/12fg.
3) using strategy is not useless, pick&roll make more sense than driving to the hoop like mad
4) layup can be blocked. just one!!!
5) eric snow is not able to blow gary payton off the dribble.
6) passing makes sense.
7) playing like press turbo and run doesn't make sense.
8) big guy under the basket changes possibility of making the layup, dunk, whatever. i mean, if Yao is standing there there is no way that Tony Parker can drive past him and make reverse layup, no way!


CAN ANYBODY HELP ME?

neuro

(sorry for my english)