The Laugh It Up Thread
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
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by TomCat on Sat May 26, 2007 12:26 pm
bigh0rt, Haha that thing about the Americans and Candians is hilarious! Good find.
2K10 Blazers Association | Photoshop Thread
Stan Smith "said", not wrote:Evening. Even-ing. Making things even.
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TomCat - Providing quaility ____ since 1991
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- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
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- Location: In your mind
by Matt on Mon May 28, 2007 6:11 pm
not really funny, but the pick of this hog is amazing
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070525/ap_ ... onster_pig
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070525/ap_ ... onster_pig
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Matt - Posts: 7236
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by shadowgrin on Mon May 28, 2007 8:17 pm
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
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by shadowgrin on Wed May 30, 2007 4:03 am
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
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- Location: In your mind
by ixcuincle on Thu May 31, 2007 12:20 pm
School: 1967 vs 2007
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to
his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off
to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up
best friends. Nobody goes to jail; nobody is arrested; nobody is
expelled.
2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested
and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class
again.
2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of ritalin.
Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has
a learning disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives
him a whipping with his belt.
1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that
she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's
mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1967 - Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.
Car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school
system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.
Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because
he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1967 - Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and
FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI
investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers confiscated.
Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him to comfort
him.
1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to
his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off
to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up
best friends. Nobody goes to jail; nobody is arrested; nobody is
expelled.
2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested
and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class
again.
2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of ritalin.
Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has
a learning disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives
him a whipping with his belt.
1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that
she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's
mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1967 - Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.
Car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school
system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.
Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because
he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1967 - Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and
FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI
investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers confiscated.
Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him to comfort
him.
1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
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ixcuincle - Posts: 1409
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by Tuomas on Thu May 31, 2007 1:39 pm
^ Funny stuff
Haha, somehow that is the most likely scenario
ixcuincle wrote:2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that
she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's
mom has affair with psychologist.
Haha, somehow that is the most likely scenario
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Tuomas - Posts: 3166
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by shadowgrin on Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:07 pm
Stupid labels for idiots
A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding
A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed
A popular scooter for children warns: "This product moves when used."
A nine- by three-inch bag of air used as packing material cautions: "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."
A flushable toilet brush warns: "Do not use for personal hygiene."
The label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in "blending, whipping, chopping and dicing," warns: "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."
A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person's temperature several different ways warns: "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."
A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”
A label on a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”
A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”
The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”
A smoke detector warns: “Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.”
A massage chair warns: “DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.”
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”
An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”
A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”
A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: “Do not use as a ladder.”
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner”
A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: “Not intended for highway use”
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
A snowblower warns: “Do not use snowthrower on roof.”
A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire”
A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
- Posts: 23229
- Joined: Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:21 am
- Location: In your mind
by --- on Mon Jun 11, 2007 3:48 pm
OneAnswer on RealGM wrote:"The World of Billy Knight""He's Knight, Knight! He drafts small forwards out of spite! What's happened to the Hawks is quite a sight! Even if he had the chance he wouldn't draft Dwight! And so today you enter The World of Billy Knight!"
"Ohhhh sorry Billy, looks like you lost!"
"Damn it!"
"Billy! Billy, it's good to see you. I'm actually glad I ran into you here. I understand you're looking for a great point guard to lead the Hawks. I just want to say I'm your guy"
"Son do you play small forward?"
"Ha, you're joking right. You know I play point"
"Then why am I talking to you?"
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--- - Posts: 4553
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- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
- Posts: 23229
- Joined: Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:21 am
- Location: In your mind
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
- Posts: 23229
- Joined: Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:21 am
- Location: In your mind
by shadowgrin on Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:58 am
The following link is an analysis of one of the worse Batman stories created by the best Batman author Frank Miller.
Forget "I'm the Juggernaut bitch!".
"...are you retarded or something?... I'm the goddamn Batman."
Forget "I'm the Juggernaut bitch!".
"...are you retarded or something?... I'm the goddamn Batman."
- shadowgrin
- Doesn't negotiate with terrorists. NLSC's Jefferson Davis. The Questioneer
- Posts: 23229
- Joined: Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:21 am
- Location: In your mind
by mvpshaq32 on Sat Jun 16, 2007 4:01 pm
I don't know if this is funny, gross, or just sad.
http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/6924300?MSNHPHMA
http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/6924300?MSNHPHMA
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mvpshaq32 - Foots in Asses!
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