Man caught with penis in pasta jar

[Andrew]

A proud day for my hometown of Newcastle.

Man caught with penis in pasta jar

For those who don't feel like clicking the link, a 46 year old man identified as Keith Weatherley was caught pleasuring himself with a pasta jar after police suspected he was armed, after catching him parked in a no stopping zone near a local beach. A few eye-catching details from the full article:

They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling".

That's commitment, given that:

Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.

It gets weirder though.

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

You can't make this stuff up.

Weatherley pleaded guilty to offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction.

Magistrate Elaine Truscott asked Weatherley, who represented himself, why he behaved the way he did.

He said he resisted police because he was trying to make himself "decent".

...by continuing to pleasure himself with the jar. In the end, the guy was fined $600 for "offensive behaviour".

[JaoSming]

my gawd

[el badman]

That is one sick fuck

[HeatThreePeat]

He said he resisted police because he was trying to make himself "decent".

So, let me get this straight. You have to resist arrest to be decent? Then what must you do to be good?
Get away with murder?



Tsk-Tsk.

[benji]

He's talking about putting clothes back on.

[Andrew]

It just seems like the kind of thing you'd do in the privacy of your own home, if you were inclined to do something like that. Or at least not park in a no-stopping zone, which is inconsiderate for everybody.

[Oznogrd]

It just seems like the kind of thing you'd do in the privacy of your own home, if you were inclined to do something like that. Or at least not park in a no-stopping zone, which is inconsiderate for everybody.

but breaking the law in no parking and being lewd in public may be what was getting him off more than pasta...i know it would me
Anyway: what an idiot.

[Andrew]

Not to mention having a Jack Russell terrier in the car with you as well.

[el badman]

Not to mention having a Jack Russell terrier in the car with you as well.

Yeah, I don't wanna think about the whole idea behind that...

[Eich]

reminds me of this song

phpBB [video]

[bigh0rt]

thank god they didn't use my real name in that article.

[Riot]

I've only known a few Keith's in my life but every single one of them has been very odd.

[Patr1ck]

Don't take this the wrong way, but how does someone fuck a pasta jar? Did this guy have a mutant penis that was wide enough to fit?

[Dan's Brain]

Was it actually pasta in the jar or pasta sauce?

[Lean]

I read somewhere about a guy who fucked a bench and got his dick stuck as well.

[Andrew]

Not to mention having a Jack Russell terrier in the car with you as well.

Yeah, I don't wanna think about the whole idea behind that...

Doesn't bear thinking about, does it?

Was it actually pasta in the jar or pasta sauce?

Pasta sauce, according to the article. Good thing to, I can't imagine dry pasta would have made the proceedings very pleasant.

Don't take this the wrong way, but how does someone fuck a pasta jar? Did this guy have a mutant penis that was wide enough to fit?

The article doesn't say whether it was empty or not but I'm guessing it wasn't.

[Patr1ck]

He didn't fuck a bench. He was swimming and a victim of shrinkage. His miniature unit slipped between the bench, and when the shrinkage went away, he couldn't get up because he was stuck.

[Axtacy]

oh....this one....

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24 ... 09,00.html

[Andrew]

According to reports from Hong Kong, the “lonely and disturbed” Mr Xing told police he thought it would be fun to have sex with the bench, UK’s The Telegraph reported.

As one does.

[Valor]

According to reports from Hong Kong, the “lonely and disturbed” Mr Xing told police he thought it would be fun to have sex with the bench, UK’s The Telegraph reported.

As one does.

shame for us...having retards like him over here

[Andrew]

Don't feel too badly, it seems they're everywhere.

[Axtacy]

this one is kinda off the stucking it in stuff but still....penis-related....get a hold of this guy....

Malaysian man gets nut stuck around penis
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008 ... 351244.htm

[Andrew]

I remember hearing about that. Of particular note:

Staff from the Sultanah Aminah hospital had to drain some blood from the penis and cut away a top layer of skin before the object could be removed, the newspaper said.